Invitations: would you care?

posted 2 months ago in Paper
Post # 31
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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missmonroe711 :  In your case I would go with the nicer invitations (I’m assuming based on your question that it won’t totally break the bank), not because of what your guests will think but because YOU will enjoy them.

My parents had their invitation framed and I loved looking at it as a kid, so I splurged on invitations and had mine framed as well. It makes me smile every time I see it.

Post # 32
Member
732 posts
Busy bee

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emilyofnewmoon :  Do you actually think if you go to a wedding and, say, they don’t provide alcohol or provide little or low-quality food, but the dress was designer and cost $15,000 and they hand-designed cards with all kinds of fancy inserts that it DOESN’T tell you something about what they value?

I’m not even stating which value is the one you ought to have or even that there is one you “ought” to have– but the choices you make with your money DO reveal what your priorities are. I don’t think there is anything bratty about recognizing that. 

Post # 39
Member
8768 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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missmonroe711 :  I’m glad you’re going with it – for a formal event I don’t think you’ll regret it. Our invitations were done in calligraphy and printed using thermography. Thick cardstock, gilded edges, custom envelope liners, the whole bit. The envelopes were addressed by the calligrapher by hand. They are insanely beautiful and we have it framed and hanging in our master bedroom. It’s truly art! 

Post # 40
Member
703 posts
Busy bee

We had beautiful, expensive invitations (about $2000 for the suite- I think) and I don’t regret it one bit. I’m sure the only people who saved them are my mom and my aunt, but I was so proud to send them out and smile when I see them. We also received three gifts that incorporate our invitation for decor around the house (do not have them all displayed) so I think even though people won’t keep them, the expense and detail we put into them was noticed and it definitely set the tone for our wedding.

Post # 41
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee

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personaperson :  Well that’s a different situation entirely. If you get a fancy ass invitation and show up to the event only to discover that it’s a backyard pot luck with no liqor, yeah that would be odd and I think most people would rightly side eye it heavily. I’m not sure what this hypothetical situation has to do with the OP’s question though since it is clear she’s going to have a very nice wedding all the way around.

If your reaction to the design of the invitation — before you even get to the event and have the slightest clue what it will be like — is to make wild assumptions about the person’s budget, priorities, and values…yeah that says more about you than anyone else in this scenario.

Post # 42
Member
634 posts
Busy bee

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missmonroe711 :  

Sorry for the delayed reply.

I have received e-vites to two weddings.

One was at a golf course. It was nice. I wouldn’t say “super fancy”, but not “budget” either. There were about 70 guests and I’d say most wore cocktail dresses. I was a bridesmaid and we had shorter dresses.

The second was a backyard wedding, BUT quite fancy in certain ways. The bride’s family owned an acreage so there were tents, and lovely chiavari chairs. I know her mother spent thousands in landscaping that year to make it look beautiful. It really had a beautiful forest woodland vibe. Dinner was not fancy (it was a southern bbq buffet). When I talked to the bride after she said they spent their budget on booze (which there was an insane amount of, and all good stuff).

So, neither event was very formal, but neither felt “budget”.

Post # 43
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2025 - City, State

Black tie?  When you’re expecting people to show up in tuxedos and formal gowns, you definitely need to go all-out formal in the details!  Fancy invitations is the right call.

Post # 44
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - Montsalvat, Victoria

Do what makes you happy! I’m super into paper so I went all out with my invitation suite and got them made in a cardboard book with the matching “wallet”, gold embossed fonts, debossed custom monogram and velvet ribbons etc. I think all up it cost ~$2K for $110 invitation suites so to me your package sounds fantastic! Although no one else probably kept the invites I’m so glad I did it this way and when I pull the invite out it makes me smile. It was the perfect intro to our wedding and as someone who loves paper items I’m glad I splashed out on them 🙂 

Post # 45
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

If it’s really important to you, you just feel a connection with a particular design, and you have the money.. why not? That said, every invitation I get, I go “Oh that’s so pretty!!” and I GENUINELY mean it, and then I stick it on the fridge. And then months after the wedding, I either save it or throw it away – and that depends purely on how well I know the couple. My brother’s? Absolutely saving. My boyfriend’s high school friend he hasn’t really kept in touch with much? Probably throwing away.

I LOVE admiring the beautiful designs I see people post pictures of online, but when some day I’m picking out invitations I know I wouldn’t feel comfortable spending over maybe $250 for all paper stuff, if even that. To each their own!!

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