(Closed) Invitation/SDT- how to handle +1 and families?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@bkrocks13:  I don’t think there are any hard and fast rules, but I could be worng since I didn’t do them. but since they are informal I think you would jsut send it as “jones family” or for those that might or might get a plus one you say “sally jones” and leave it at as that, and then the actual invite comes it will let them know who specifically and if there is a +1 or not

Post # 4
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012


We are inviting some friends/family and not offering them a +1 (some of our cousins from far away, etc.)  Miss Sally Jones

We are inviting some friends who will be getting a +1 Miss Sally Jones and Guest (even better if you know their name)

We are inviting some families and couples (meaning, in my mind, one STD and invitation per household which may be 2-4 people.)  

Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Jones 

Billy and Susie Jones


Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Jones and Family

Post # 5
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Save The Dates can be sent one per household address (as they are fairly NEW to the realm of world of Wedding Stationery, you don’t have to send them at all if you want to save the expense… or aren’t having a Destination Wedding… infact many Brides say that sending them and then getting further along in their Wedding Planning they discover that the Save-The-Date Cards were more trouble than they were worth).  Trust me folks will hear about your upcoming Wedding no matter what… thru social media, friends, family… your Blog… Wedding Website etc.

As per traditional Etiquette…

Invites are sent out one per address to all the people in the household whom you want to attend, that belong to the same immediate family who are under the age of 18.  Those over 18 get their own Invites.

So, any of the following would work…

1- MARRIED (Same Last Name) Mr & Mrs Robert Jones =OR= Robert & Sally Jones

2- MARRIED (Different Last Names) Mr Robert Jones & Ms. Sally Brown =OR= Robert Jones & Sally Brown

3- WITH CHILDREN – Whichever version you choose from the above example, and then the kids names listed on the second line… oldest to youngest

Robert Jr – William – Susan

4- OR… Mr & Mrs Robert Jones & Family =OR= Robert Jones & Sally Brown & Family

5- COUPLES LIVING TOGETHER – you can go the same way as example # 2 above, or list them one above the other… Ladies first

6- FRIENDS WITH DATES – Try to find out the name of the Date and their Address and mail them there own Invite.

7- FRIENDS WITH GUESTS – Not sure who they’ll be bringing… or they aren’t sure… but you want them to have that option… then that is when you use the “and Guest” option

Mr. David Black & Guest

Hope this helps,

PS… In reality NO ONE is officially invited until they receive the actual Invite (STDs are just an Annoucement of your Upcoming Wedding).  So listing each and every person isn’t a HUGE requirement… that is what the Invites will do… clearly lay out WHO is and isn’t invited.  So… if yourself currently uncertain about how many you’ll be able to accommodate come the BIG DAY… play it safe.  Send the STD to Mr & Mrs Robert Jones for now… and add the kids names to the actual Invite if you have figured out that you want them there / can cover the added expense of kids / Plus Ones etc (same thing for single friends… you can add the “and guest” feature to the Invites) down the road once you have a better idea of what the Wedding you have in your minds eye is going to realistically cost you.


Post # 6
2640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

technically speaking, you never address an invitation as “Ms. Angela Smith and Guest”. Etiquette-wise, the appropriate thing to do is to call up Ms. Angela Smith and ask her the name of her boyfriend/other guest, and address it to “Ms. Angela Smith and Mr. Tony Jones”. even more ideally, you would have the addresses for both Ms. Smtih and Mr. Jones and would send them separate invites, unless the message you want to send is that you only want Tony Jones there if Angela Smtih can come.

Post # 8
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

For the RSVP card I’ll have a section for RSVP for  Blank Space/# The Blank Space will be what the invited guest fills in, and the # will be a number I hand write in on how many guests the invitation covers. 

So for my single friendds getting a guest I’ll address it just to them on the outside, but the # section will be a 2, to indicate they may bring a guest. 

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