Post # 1
Hi bees! I have a question about invitations…
We are inviting some friends that are in long-term relationships and will have a plus one (though we don’t know their SO’s name), and we are also inviting single friends that we are expecting to come alone. How exactly do you handle/word invitations so that people know whether or not they have a plus one? Or do you extend everyone a “plus one” and hope that single friends don’t bring anyone? Do you do two different versions of the invitation?
Also, if someone is extended a plus one (and we don’t know who their guest is)…do you leave a spot in the RSVP card to write in who they are bringing?
I know this sounds so naive, but I honestly don’t know how you’re supposed to formally write out the invitations or the etiquette for this…advice is needed!!! Thanks!!
Post # 3
@Laur12: For the one single, out of town person that we gave a plus one to, I just wrote ‘Friend’s Name and Guest’ on the invitation. If a person had a SO that we did not know the name of as yet then I made sure to find out the name of the person either via mutual friends, facebook etc 🙂 I didn’t do RSVP cards so can’t help you there sorry.
Post # 4
@Laur12: We put “and guest” for single friends that we allowed to bring a plus one (which was all of our single friends). For friends in a relationship, we called to ask what their SO’s name was if we didn’t know it. They can write in the person’s name when they write on the rsvp card. I would suggest being careful about plus one’s with single guests. Some might get upset if others get to bring a guest, while some people don’t get to.
Post # 5
@Laur12: We’re doing ” [name] and guest.”
Post # 6
I just had a line on my RSVP that said “we have reserved ___ seats for you” and then I filled it in with 2.
Post # 7
Thank you!! I appreciate the help…really had no idea 🙂 this sounds pretty easy!
Post # 8
@Laur12: If you don’t want your single friends tobring a date, don’t offer them a plus one.
The most correct way to address invitations is to find out the names and addresses of your prospective guests’ SO’s.
If they live together, the invitation can be addressed to the two of them at the same address.
If they don’t live together, send them each their own invitation.
If you choose not to send the plus ones their own invitation, you can address the invitation to Sarah Jones and guest on the inner envelope.
If you are not using inner envelopes, you can indicate that they may bring a guest by using this wording on the RSVP card.
We have reserved _ Seat(s) in your honor (then you fill in 1 or 2.)
Post # 9
The outer envelope said “Mr. John Doe and Guest” and then on the RSVP card we had “___ Seat(s) have been reserved in your honor”
We didn’t have any issues.
Post # 10
@Laur12: Proper etiquette requires that you offer equal hospitality to all of your guests; and the people you invite because you feel other friends will want their company, are still your guests. The minimum courtesy a guest should expect, is to be invited by name through an invitation sent to his or her own address.
So what you do, is call up your single friends, or send them a note, asking whether or not there is someone whom they wish you to invite, and asking for that person’s name and address. If they do not get back to you with a name and address, then you can fairly assume that there is no-one they wish to attend with. In that case you simply insert them into your seating plans as single individuals, carefully choosing their table-mates to be people they will find interesting to converse with.
In addition to your duty to your guests individually, to recognize them by name; you have a duty to all your guests collectively to be able to vouch for the other guests’ good reputation. Letting other people decide who will attend your party without your knowledge sets you up for accidentally playing host to someone’s ex, or to the local neighbourhood paedophile, or to the guy who swindled one of your other guests out of their life savings. Try to meet and get to know anyone you are asked to invite, but at a minimum at least know who they are!
Post # 11
@Laur12: I used a mix of everything. Mostly I tried to find out everyone SO’s names to address the invites specifically to them. However, I also added in a line on the RSVP card that said: X seats have been reserved for you. And I wrote in 1 or 2 so they knew if they got a guest. This also came in handy because we didn’t want some of our distant cousins bringing thier kids…we have a limited amount of seating (and budget) available. Good Luck!
Post # 12
Technically, you are NEVER supposed to give “plus ones”.
For people in relationships: you must invite both members of the couple, and you must invite them by name. If you don’t know what it is, now is an excellent time to call and find out.
For people who are single: ask them in advance if there is someone they’d like to bring, and include that person *by name* on the invitation.