Post # 1
Ok, so my wedding is super small to begin with, 50 guest MAX. To make a long story short, I was really good friends with one of my coworker, she tranfered to another dept & we have grown distant since then, I attempt to stay close thru email. She was pregnant at the time I told her that she among the very few that were invited to the wedding, but didn’t like the fact that I said it was adults only. She said her baby would be 4 months old & that I can make an exception for her (what do I say to that!?) Well it is now 1.5 months before the wedding & I’m still contemplating if I should invite her. She quit her job after she had her baby, so I haven’t seen her in the past 3 months & I highly doubt we’ll keep in touch in the future. Her husband happends to work in the same building, bumped into him the other day & he asked how the wedding plans were going?, eeeeeeeeee!
I know that it’s tacky to NOT invite her, after I already told her. But I’m not going to see her anymore & I’d rather give her seat to someone that I WILL see. I didn’t think she would up n quit after having the baby.
I’m really not trying to be ugly here, any advise would be appreciated…
Post # 3
I would probably invite her but rescind the offer about the baby…she probably won’t come then…
Post # 4
Invite her and make it clear that she can’t bring the baby. She will most likely decline, which allows you to avoid being rude without her actually coming to the wedding 🙂
Post # 5
I wouldn’t invite her. You said you haven’t seen her in 3 months and are unlikely to do so in the future. You don’t want children at the wedding and she wants to bring her baby.
I just don’t see her as making the list of close personal friends.
Post # 6
I too am having a 50 person wedding and I am inviting a co-worker who recently quit… but this co-worker and I are still close friends so as it stands, I have no issued inviting her.
Like others have suggested, I would invite her, but make it clear that she cant bring her baby. Either she will make the effort to come minus the baby (thus rekindling the friendship), or she will decline and you guys will more than likely stay distant. Put the ball in her court.
Post # 7
If you’re not particularly close with her anymore then there’s really no sense in inviting her. Even if you choose to, you absolutely do NOT have to make an exception for her baby. I can’t believe she even had the balls to say that. It’s not like she’s a close family member with a baby (who I personally still wouldn’t make an exception for), she’s an ex coworker. No special treatment just because she popped out a kid.
Post # 8
I would say to still invite her, but she still cannot bring the baby because it wouldnt be fair to the other people who didnt bring their children because of your no children policy.
Post # 9
If you already told her you would invite her and her husband is asking, I would invite her. If you really don’t want her baby there you could apologize for any misunderstanding and maybe she would get a sitter or maybe she wouldn’t come. If you’re just worried that others will be upset if her baby is allowed but other children aren’t- it’s not uncommon for couples to make exceptions for young nursing babies, but it’s certainly your right not to. Try to keep in mind, you were a lot closer just a few short months ago, and those first few months being a new mom are very isolating. Obviously you’re not obligated to invite her just to give her a social outlet, but since you already did invite her and her husband obviously remembers that as well, she’s may really be looking forward to a night out.
I would call her, tell her that unfortunately since you can’t allow other children you can’t allow hers without risking hurt feelings. Then tell her you hope she can get a sitter to join you but that you will understand if she can’t. Personally I find it very rude to uninvite guests unless drastic changes happen in your relationship or in your wedding plans.
Post # 10
I wouldnt invite her and if she ever asks you again you can be honest about it.. or tell her that you had to make cuts because family had to come first.
Post # 11
UPDATE: So another coworker of mine, who also recently had a baby, keeps more in touch with her than I do. She talked to her & turns out that the ex-coworker isn’t really expecting an invitation for the same reasons that we don’t have a that close connection like we used to. Also, she said that she didn’t want to have the conversation of having to refuse the invite because she does not want to leave her baby with a sitter just yet. So it worked out perfect in the end!
Thanks everyone for your advice!!! 😀