- 5 years ago
This is my first post here and I guess I just need to get this topic off my chest because I don’t know who to talk to. I need advice. We’re having our wedding in 2015 and we decided we would stick to closest family, mainly because my fiancé has a large family (many aunts and uncles, all married) and that we just can’t afford for everybody, so we had to make choices (but still, we’re a little over 50 guests if everybody comes). My best friend Annie will be invited though, because I’ve known her forever and I don’t consider her just a friend, she’s litterally the sister I grew up with, and I am godmother to her son.
The problem is, I have this other very good friend of mine, let’s call her Sheila, which I’ve known for almost a decade and I love her dearly. She’s always been there for me, through hard times especially, and the only thing that keeps me from inviting her is her boyfriend.
I don’t know why, but he doesn’t seem to appreciate me very much, depite me always being friendly and polite to him. It happened frequently in the past that he has said hurtful things to me, and he has a way of talking to me that is belittling. Over the years, I realized he seemed to feel rivalry towards me (we study in the same field, but I often had better grades and I won scholarships he didn’t in the past years), because his negative comments to me were always related to academics : I wouldn’t succeed, I shouldn’t expect to achieve this or that, it’s a waste of time to do this project, etc. I will also spare the details of an event recently, where he litterally insulted me in front of many people, because I made different lifestyle choices than his.
So, my concerne is this : I fear it would offend Sheila or sadden her greatly when she learns I’m getting married, but doesn’t receive an invite. And I’m afraid it might be even more hurtful to her if she finds out my friend Annie will be there. On the other hand, I really dislike her boyfriend, I’m tired of having him saying mean things to me and depreciating me.
So … since it really is undelicate not to invite him if I invite Sheila, what should I do ? Having a guest that don’t treat me with respect, or making the choice not to have Sheila at all with us that day (not inviting her) ? I really am confused.