Post # 1
I just want to make sure that Im doing the right thing. A friend of mine is married to a man who used to be friends on FB with a few people including my Fiance. Anyway my Fiance would sometimes put on FB that hes mad at me for whatever reason. Never would say y and most of it was stupid stuff. Anyway without knowing the facts, this guy eventually got to the point when he eventually said to my Fiance that he should leave me, etc.
I was so pissed! One at my FI(for putting our business on FB), two at this guy who is a sucky husband from what my friend says, and three at this man who is telling my Fiance, in public, that he should dump me without knowing ANYTHING!!! So what eventually happened was a few people stood up for me(my Future Sister-In-Law warned him that he doesnt stop she will tell his wife what he has tried to do with her) and the guy took all of them off his friends list. I was never friends with him. I never liked him.
So end of story? Not quite. This guy before he ever met my friend, years ago dated one of my FSIL’s! So I wasnt sure how my Future Sister-In-Law and friend would like it if they met, etc. I asked them both and they said its okay if they met each other. So I was going to invite my friend and husband. But then that situation in the last paragraph happened and I realized that I would love for my friend to come but NOT her husband!! Y would I want to invite a guy who without knowing anything, tells my Fiance to dump me?!?!?
So I figured that I cannot invite my friend only….so I decided to not invite either of them.
It looks like my friend is invited to my other friends wedding(Sep 2) that we all plan to go to. Not sure how it will feel to see this guy after what happened. Will everybody just pretend it didnt happen?
And if I dont invite this couple should I tell her y, or just not mention it? It happened like half a year ago. U think she might ask y am I telling her now? Plus they live about 80 miles away. We never see them, so its not like it will effect my life in a huge way. I havent seen her in like years!
So am I doing the right thing by not inviting them? Theres no way at all to invite only her, right? Would u invite a friend,just to see her, but who’s husband is a douche and did all that?
Post # 3
@Earlybride: I would invite both of them. This whole situation sounds really petty. He made an assumption, it’s not the end of the world. I would be more upset at the fact the your Fiance posts personal things on FB without consulting you about it. Sorry, this comes off as snarky but it’s just what I would do if I were in your situation.
Post # 4
Yes, either both or neither.
ETA: I would invite both.
Post # 5
@Mrs.ChubbyBunny: I agree with everything except the first sentence. You say they live far away and you never see them, why do you want to invite them anyway? Unless of course you talk a lot online or on the phone, in which case yes, invite both of them.
I agree, your Fiance should not be posting passive agressive statements on FB about his relationship with you. Also, it sounds like your friend’s husband has cheated or tried to cheat with FSIL? Not sure why Future Sister-In-Law didn’t tell her anyway, before any of this situation happened, but I guess that’s really nothing to do with you anyway and it’s not your place.. just odd.
Post # 6
invite both of them if you want her there – it was your Fiance that was putting it out there that he was unhappy and if you hear it enough times people do want to scream at you if you are that unhappy then leave, he was honest enough to speak up when others roll their eyes and judge you silently.
and as far as dating your Future Sister-In-Law in the past – it was years ago, if your Future Sister-In-Law has no issue then its none of your business
Post # 7
if you are close enough with this friend to want her at your wedding, i would invite her and her husband. unless your Fiance is strongly against it and doesn’t want them at his wedding?
Post # 8
@Mrs.ChubbyBunny:Oh trust me I was upset at my Fiance. He has stopped doing that.
I just dont think that ANYONE should tell someone to dump his/her Fiance if they know no facts! This might be nothing, but a few years after he dated my Future Sister-In-Law and a couple years before he dated my friend he asked me out. Is he still bitter? Y else would he tell my Fiance to dump me?
Plus I really dont like him! Since his marriage to my friend I found out from my FSIl that he has tried to (date) her.
What would u bees do?
Post # 9
Invite both or invite neither. I wouldn’t attend a wedding if you didn’t invite my husband and I would probably hold against you regardless of your reasons for not inviting him.
Honestly, I would be more upset with your Fiance for putting your private business on a social networking site than I would be at this guy for commenting on it. Its not like this guy said out of no where “dump her”. He was commenting on something your Fiance said that more than likely led him to make the comment.
Edit: This is why I am super careful about what I am posting on FB, and why I have lectured my nieces to no end about being careful not to put family or personal business out there on the world wide web. It aways seems to come back to bite you on the bum!
Post # 10
@eloping:Oh I wasnt clear. My Future Sister-In-Law didnt mind my friend there but she didnt want to see him there.
I think I know what I will do bees. I will see how we all are at my one friends wedding. If we all get along, then I will invite them. I think thats a good plan!!
Thanks bees!! Sometimes getting opinions from u helps.