(Closed) Invite Bachelorette Not Wedding

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

If it is clearly a wedding-related event, such as a shower, engagement party, or bachelorette party, I think the guest list should not include anyone who also will not be invited to the wedding. 

If, however, you just want to get a group of your friends together for a casual girls’ night out for dinner one evening and not have this event directly be tied to the fact that you’re getting married, I think that would be fine. 

Post # 4
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think people are focusing on the wrong thing if they get upset that they are invited to a bachlorette party but not the wedding. People often argue that they feel like they’re not important enough to be invited to the wedding and that it’s rubbing it in their face but I feel that they should feel  appreciated that they their presence is wanted at all. Isn’t it better to be invited to 1 event than no events at all? I would also feel that any friend who I would want to spend time with would know me better than to think that I’m inviting them for a gift especially because I feel that gifts are optional to bachlorette parties. 

 

If somebody gets upset that they’re invited to the bachlorette but not the wedding, they would be upset that they weren’t invited to the wedding in the first place no matter what you did. I’m sure they all already know you’re getting married. It’s not like they wouldn’t have known if you didn’t invite them to the bachlorette. 

Post # 5
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Your friend is right.  It is rude to invite people to pre-wedding parties while excluding them from the main event.  This is especially true for showers (which by definition are about getting gifts), but also applies to bachelorette parties, engagement parties, etc.

Post # 6
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I may also be breaking the all bachelorette atendees must be invited to the wedding rule. If you know that you can’t invite EVERYONE you know to the wedding, why not have an appropriate celebration with people you want to celebrate with?

I go to dance classes with a bunch of women who are awesome to party with, but since I can’t afford to invite everyone to the wedding, I can’t invite any of them. Why not a no gift, no obligation get together to celebrate (and in my case, play bingo with drag queens)?

By the way, I also wear white after labor day and speak before I’m spoken to.

Post # 7
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m inviting about 7 girls to stagette not invited to the wedding. All of them know they aren’t invited and all of them still wanted to come to the stagette. Since we’re all on the same page I think it’s OK.

Post # 8
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If your party is wedding related then the people coming have to be invited to the wedding.  If you want to have a fun party with your girlfriends, have a party but do not make it wedding related.  Its like inviting somebody to the ceremony and not the reception, its rude and unnessisary

Post # 9
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I went to someones shower and was not invited to the wedding.  She was a friend from work and was having a destination wedding so I was not offended at all.

Post # 10
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

To be honest someone invited me to their bachelorette  party once, and I was not invited to the wedding. I did not go. My train of thought was “I am cool enough to party with, but not good enough to go to your wedding?” I was really offended.  Maybe I shoudn’t of been, but I was.  

Post # 11
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think since it’s a Destination Wedding, people would understand. One of my friends is having a Destination Wedding, immediate family only plus her very, very closest friends (I’m not invited). If there is a bachelorette party, you bet I wanna go! I think the “night out” plan without gifts is fine.

Post # 12
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Since this might come across as rude, I would try to talk to these ladies in person before inviting them so you can explain why they weren’t invited to the ceremony. As long as you take measures to ensure these friends aren’t getting their feelings hurt, I don’t see harm in inviting more people to your outing.

Perhaps call it something else though, like a girls night out, and your Maid/Matron of Honor will ensure you are treated like the bachelorette. You can then have a conversation all together while you are enjoying yourselves why you couldn’t invite all your acquantances to the wedding.

 

Post # 13
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I know that some others find this wrong but I don’t. I have willingly gone to bachelorette parties for people whose wedding I was not invited to. I understand that sometimes the bride can’t invite everyone to the wedding that they would like to and I still want to celebrate with them. There were several (maybe 10) people who came to my bachelorette party who were not invited to my wedding. My Maid/Matron of Honor put out an open invitation to friends (not an official invite) and they chose to come for a great night out. I see nothing wrong with it.

As for showers and engagement parties…I can see the difference because they are more about gift giving. That said…a bunch of girls at work who were not invited to my wedding had a shower for me. It was a really nice surprise and very thoughtful of them. They were just happy for me and understood that I didn’t have the ability to invite every single person I know to my wedding.

Post # 14
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t think you should invite them.  Bachelorette parties are typically expensive and people are bound to be put out if they are invited to come, but not celebrate at the wedding. 

Post # 15
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Super rude.  If I got invited to the bachelorette, I better be invited to the wedding.  I’m important enough to buy the bride shots but not important enough to get invited to the wedding? 

It’s one thing if a guest can’t come to the desination wedding and they can come to the bachelorette. It’s quite another if you exclude them from the wedding invitations.

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