(Closed) Invite Bachelorette Not Wedding

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If it is a girl’s night, it is okay.  If it is in honor of you because you are getting married (bachelorette) it is indeed considered rude.

If it is thrown by the girls who aren’t invited, it is considered okay; example, you aren’t inviting coworkers but your coworkers throw you a shower or a bachelorette party.

I think that you can talk to your friend if you really want these girls there and ask if instead of calling it a bachelorette, you can call it a girl’s night out and everyone will just pay their own way including you.  It’s possible they’ll decide to buy you drinks and whatnot in honor of your wedding; my friends did that for me when we took a vacation together shortly before my first wedding even though it wasn’t a bachelorette party.

Post # 5
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If it’s not a situation where people are paying for you, it should be okay.  The sentiment behind the ettiquette is to avoid a situation where people are expected to pay the bride’s way or give the bride gifts without being invited to attend the actual event; it comes off as a gift grab and reminds people that they didn’t make the A-list (especially if some people at the event will be attending the wedding, then it’s an awkward “I know you two are closer than we are but I really don’t like it being confirmed” situation).  If the invites aren’t made up yet, taking the word “bachelorette” out of the equation would solve everything.  If they are, it’s not going to be a big deal if your group of friends is okay with it.  Your friend may still be uncomfortable organizing it, so it’s a delicate situation since you obviously don’t want to take over the planning.

Post # 6
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee

@poppybanks:  

I’m pretty much an “etiquette witch” most of the time.

In this situation though—you are not wrong for inviting guests who are not coming to the wedding.  

Here is why:  You are not registering or expecting gifts.  Period.  It is in your honor, think going away party!  Like you said it’s more of a girls night out.

Normally—I would say to you that if they are not “good enough” to come to the wedding then you don’t invite them to the tea/shower. 

This is a unique situation and this etiquette witch has no problem with what you are doing.

Have fun!!

Post # 7
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Any person invited to a pre-wedding party needs to be invited to the wedding – regardless of wedding size and location.  The only exceptions to this are church and work showers.  If only work people are being invited to the bach. party, then it’s fine.  But if you have other friends coming, then I agree that it’s rude to invite coworkers who aren’t invited to the wedding.  However, you could use @HappierKate’s suggestion and just make it a ladies night and don’t call it a bachelorette party.  That would be acceptable since it wouldn’t be a pre-wedding party. =)

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