(Closed) Invite boss & co-workers?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Will you invite boss/co-workers who work together less than 1 year?
    Yes. I will tell my boss and co-workers and invite them to come. : (13 votes)
    42 %
    Yes. I will tell them but not sending out the invitation. : (13 votes)
    42 %
    Yes. I will tell them but pretending I will be married by a judge so there is no ceremony/reception. : (0 votes)
    No. I will not tell them. I will wait until somebody ask. : (5 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I don’t think you need to tell your co-workers about taking time off, just your boss, so if you don’t want to tell them about your wedding I don’t think you have to. I also don’t think you need to invite your boss to your wedding. My SO is a boss and I don’t think he’d expect to be invited to an employee’s wedding.

    You’re not expected to invite anyone to your wedding just because you told them you’re getting married.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1749 posts
    Bumble bee

    @LittleBruin:I have a couple of peers that I will invite but I am not inviting my boss.

    Post # 5
    Member
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    You do not need to invite coworkers in the situation you described. I would if you knew them for a long time and socialized outside of work but not in this case. As far as the former coworkers, I wouldnt invite the ones you don’t keep in touch with just to possibly avoid hurting their feelings.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5797 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    A good rule of thumb is to only invite people from work that you hang out with outside of the office.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Personally, I think its weird when people don’t share any personal information with coworkers. Not that we need to know every private detail, but something as big as getting married is just strange to find out about after the fact.

    I had a boss at my last job who I knew for a few years. I liked her, but she was kind of tight lipped about her personal life, which was fine. But when she came back from vacation married one day, I actually felt slightly offended. That was such a big event in her life, she was engaged for about 6 months in secret planning a wedding, I felt a little betrayed and things were definitely awkward for her at work after that.

    Weddings are personal, so anyone you actually consider a friend should get an invite. I invited my two bosses to be nice and they both declined, but it would have been fine if they came. If you aren’t inviting everyone in a large network, just ask those who get an invite to be quiet about it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Everyone I work with knows I’m getting married — I’m wearing an engagement ring, hellooo! But I’m not close with them. I don’t socialize with them after work or anything like that so I will not be inviting them to the wedding.

    It’s okay to tell them that you are getting married, but you are not obligated to invite them.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1876 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I think you are overthinking this a bit. Next chance you get tell your boss and request the time off. Then casually tell your coworkers when you get a chance. Don’t feel the need to invite them. You say you think it would be rude to tell them your getting married and not invite them? That’s not true. It’s very common to be friendly with your coworkers and not be invited to their wedding, even if they know about the wedding. I think it’d be ruder to get married and then have them find out – they’d feel as if you don’t want them involved at all in your life.

    Post # 13
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    In our office (its a small office a total of 10 people work here) we all talk to each other they all they know i’m getting married but only 1 is invited and they all know it as well

    Post # 14
    Member
    3374 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    In no way, shape or form would I invite my coworkers! lol Obviously I will tell them I’m planning a wedding, but doubt that they’ll be offended by not being invited.

    If they ask, say it’s family only!

    Post # 15
    Member
    916 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Hi Little Bruin! Here’s the process I went through/would go through in your situation.

    1. I think you should book time off with your boss a few months before you need it, but you don’t need to tell your co-workers.  You don’t need to invite your boss or your co-workers, since you’re not close to them.  IF you do later on decide to invite co-workers on your immediate team, though, I think you should probably invite your boss too.

    2. Who are the people you’re thinking of leaving out?  Are they part of the main social “group” that you’re inviting?  If not, it’s ok to not invite them, especially since you’re not in that office anymore, and your wedding plans aren’t going to be advertised right in front of them.  If they ARE from the same group, though, I’d give it more thought.  How many extra people would it be?  If just 1 or 2, I would invite them.

    3. I hang out with people from work regularly outside of work.  Some are people from my immediate team, so I decided to go ahead and invite everyone from my immediate team, as well as my boss.  I’m also inviting my old boss, because he’s really awesome and would be fun to have at my wedding!  There are a few people who I am not that close to, but they are in the same social circle as others who I’m inviting.  There are only a couple of them, so I’m inviting them.  There are a few co-workers who are not invited, but they are from other social groups that I’m not that close to.  My co-workers are NOT getting a +1 unless they are married.  The exception is 1 co-worker where my Fiance and I are quite close friends with the couple.

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