(Closed) invite co-workers to shower only??

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Normally I’d say no, but maybe talk to them.

Post # 4
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

No – it is rude to invite to the shower and not the wedding.  Part of wedding planning is not being able to invite everyone – and those people are adults who should be able to understand that.  Please don’t invite them.

Post # 5
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with PP, it’s better off not to invite them. They might think that if they’re invited to the shower, than they’ll be invited to the wedding as well, IMO.

Post # 6
Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Stace126:  I agree with PPs who say don’t invite them. They should understand your situation but if you invite them to the shower they might think they will also be invited to your wedding. 

Post # 7
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Unless they throw you a shower at work, you should not invite them to a shower if they’re not invited to the wedding. Also, 100 people is HUGE for a shower.

Post # 8
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@Stace126:  Never. It is never polite to invite people to a gift giving party, but not to the wedding.

How could anyone take it to mean anything other then you are close enough to me to give me gifts, but not close enough to actually celebrate the wedding?

I don’t think inviting them to an event where they have to give a gift really shows that you care about them, and value their friendship.

 

Post # 9
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No.

Post # 10
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

no

Post # 11
Member
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Agreed, I think it’s rude to be invited to a wedding event (bachelorette party, shower, etc) but not the actual wedding.  Women understand guest list woes, I wouldn’t worry about.

Post # 12
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Never ok.

 

Ok to invite them to just the bachelorette.  If they decide to throw you a “work” shower that is their choice and if that is the case than they don’t have to be invited to the wedding.

Post # 13
Hostess
8579 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It’s considered rude to only invite them to the shower – it looks very gift grabby.

Post # 14
Member
491 posts
Helper bee

I would say don’t invite them. Especially since the shower is already pretty huge, it’s not like you’ll get a chance to talk to them for more than a couple minutes.  You won’t really get to show your appreciation for their attendance. 

 

If they make the effort to go to a party, bring a gift, and then not really get to see you, it really seems like a gift grab to me. 

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would personally find this rude. Like I was being treated like a B-lister 🙁  Sorry I know it’s not what you want to hear.

Post # 16
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

No, it’s never ok to invite somebody to a gift giving party, but not the actual wedding.

The only exception would be if your current job decides to throw you a “work shower”.  It’s fairly common to have a lunch hour thing where everybody’s invited to come have a piece of cake and wish you well, and often chip in like 10 bucks toward a group gift if they feel so inclined.

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