Post # 1
Question: is it ever okay to invite women to ONLY your bridal shower and NOT the wedding?
I’ve been engaged and planning our wedding for 2 years. Our guest list has had 275+ people on it from the beginning and is now up to 290. With that number, we are capping it off due to budget and just plain space.
However, I just started a new job about 5 months ago and the girls there are so sweet and nice and always asking me how wedding planning is going, etc. They ask to see pictures, say how they wish they could be there, the whole 9 yards.
And I would love for them to come to the wedding, but again, there just isn’t room — in the budget or venue. lol
But when it comes to the wedding shower, there will probably be only about 100 people present, with room to spare.
So I was wondering if it’s okay to invite the co-workers to the shower, just so I can let them know I appreciate their friendship, etc. but can’t invite them to the wedding.
I’ve never heard of this situation so not sure how to handle this.
Post # 3
Normally I’d say no, but maybe talk to them.
Post # 4
No – it is rude to invite to the shower and not the wedding. Part of wedding planning is not being able to invite everyone – and those people are adults who should be able to understand that. Please don’t invite them.
Post # 5
I agree with PP, it’s better off not to invite them. They might think that if they’re invited to the shower, than they’ll be invited to the wedding as well, IMO.
Post # 6
@Stace126: I agree with PPs who say don’t invite them. They should understand your situation but if you invite them to the shower they might think they will also be invited to your wedding.
Post # 7
Unless they throw you a shower at work, you should not invite them to a shower if they’re not invited to the wedding. Also, 100 people is HUGE for a shower.
Post # 8
@Stace126: Never. It is never polite to invite people to a gift giving party, but not to the wedding.
How could anyone take it to mean anything other then you are close enough to me to give me gifts, but not close enough to actually celebrate the wedding?
I don’t think inviting them to an event where they have to give a gift really shows that you care about them, and value their friendship.
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Agreed, I think it’s rude to be invited to a wedding event (bachelorette party, shower, etc) but not the actual wedding. Women understand guest list woes, I wouldn’t worry about.
Post # 12
Ok to invite them to just the bachelorette. If they decide to throw you a “work” shower that is their choice and if that is the case than they don’t have to be invited to the wedding.
Post # 13
It’s considered rude to only invite them to the shower – it looks very gift grabby.
Post # 14
I would say don’t invite them. Especially since the shower is already pretty huge, it’s not like you’ll get a chance to talk to them for more than a couple minutes. You won’t really get to show your appreciation for their attendance.
If they make the effort to go to a party, bring a gift, and then not really get to see you, it really seems like a gift grab to me.
Post # 15
I would personally find this rude. Like I was being treated like a B-lister 🙁 Sorry I know it’s not what you want to hear.
Post # 16
No, it’s never ok to invite somebody to a gift giving party, but not the actual wedding.
The only exception would be if your current job decides to throw you a “work shower”. It’s fairly common to have a lunch hour thing where everybody’s invited to come have a piece of cake and wish you well, and often chip in like 10 bucks toward a group gift if they feel so inclined.