Post # 1
I’m in a sticky situation and need some help….
I’ve read tons of advice on this and still can’t decide…
I have worked with a group of about 15 people for two years. All of them know of our wedding plans and try to ask every once in a while of the plans.
I’ve only hung out with a few of them outside of work a couple of times. I don’t talk to them outside of work unless it’s about work, or some family emergency.. But, we have very personal conversations at work and feel that I know some of them really well.
A few people have asked if I plan to invite anyone from work.. I have said that we are at max seating, and not sure yet. I would like to invite all of them if I could, and have asked if a few of them would be interested in attending. I have mentioned that I may just extend an open invite after a certain time (so that no one thinks we expect gifts or $), or may only ask a few people. Most of them know I haven’t decided yet. We are having a formal wedding that we are paying for.
I know that the invite after a certain time would be a little rude, but that way everyone gets an invite and I won’t feel bad hurting any ones feelings. Do I make seperate invites for everyone or just write up a nice invite for our dept. (which has been done before several times). And that way I don’t have to worry about a head count for dinner? We will have late night snacks and open bar too..
Do I send out a formal invite to just a few people?
Or not invite anyone? After what I said I feel like I should extend invites to a couple people at least..
I work midnights so most of the people I would invite work midnights or afternoons. The wedding is about 45 min away from work on a night that some wouldn’t be able to get off anyway.
I know the.. it’s your wedding do what you want sorta thing.. But, the closer it gets the more I feel like I should do something.. Just not sure what yet… The wedding is about 30 days away…
Any advice would be great!!
Thank you so much!!
Post # 3
I realize that you are paying for it by yourselves, but with such a small company it might cause hurt feelings that some were invited and not others.
Post # 4
This is a hard one! I can understand why you are stumped.
I personally would not do the invite after a certain time…I understand that would make it possible for you to include everyone, but I just feel that if someone is invited to your wedding they shouldn’t be excluded from the ceremony and dinner.
I voted for inviting a select few. I imagine your co-workers know you have limited space (or you could let them know you have limited space)- and they would hopefully understand that you are closer to the other co-workers than you are to them.
OR you could explain to all of them how sorry you are that you can’t include them. I don’t know how comfortable you are doing this, but I’d probably just tell them all that you care about them, but you had limited space and budget concerns, and you had to prioritize family.
Post # 5
I think that you should give the invite to all of them. The people that you are close to should come while the others would appreciate the invite but I wouldn’t think that they would really come… But then again they may all show up. I really don’t think that you should invite a selected few because after your wedding you are still going to have to deal with these people.
Post # 6
Well, we have about 70 employee’s… But, there are only 15 in our dept.
I tried to think of those that have invited me to hang out, outside of work or who is the most supportive etc. I feel more stressed when I think of who will be there.. A few of them like to ‘talk’ and well.. I really don’t need the stress of it. But, at the same time… I have to work with these people for a long time… And I know I’m going to rely on a lot of them when he leaves for deployment for a year. 🙁
Out of everyone, I think maybe 5 may show. Total with dates 9-10 people. Its a little bit of a drive for most and it’s on a night where everyone will have to work, so they would have to take off time etc. But, if I leave an open invite.. who knows. I thought about sending out an email letting them know I’m extending an invite to our dept and posting an invite our our board.. A little tacky I know.. But, I’m running out of options.
I’m so torn on what to do.. 🙁
Post # 7
@AngieM30: How casual is your wedding that people can show up? I would feel mighty strange about walking into a reception after dinner has been served and partying has started. But that is just because I have never been to a wedding that I wasn’t actually invited to the ceremony and reception. What are weddings like in your social circle?
Post # 8
A lot of great points that I considered, Thank you!!!
Well, I decided to go ahead and invite all of them. I really don’t think everyone will come… I sent out an email letting everyone know that the invite was open for all of our department and to please let me know if they plan on attending the dinner. Invite was for wedding and reception.
I know, a little tacky.. But, this way it pleases everyone and I know that no one will be hurt. If they are unable to attend the dinner, I made mention of coming out and having a drink with us.
We have about 12 employee’s in our dept, and I think with guests we will plan on having about 10 show. I can already tell a difference in the air at work. Seems a lot more friendly… Not so tense wondering if they are invited lol.
Thank you so much for all those who responded 🙂 I will keep you posted on what happens 🙂
Post # 9
Our personal rule is that we’re only inviting coworkers we spend time with outside of the office/newsroom. If we consider them real life friends and would still hangout with them if one of us left our company, then they’re in.
Post # 10
I inivited my whole department. Most declined. I’m not that close with all of them, but I felt bad about inviting some with out the others. Let us know how you your RSVPs work out.
For future brides.. I did a 2 RSVP thing. I did close family and friends should RSVP 2 months before, (I don’t mind telling them there is a B list of coworkers), and my coworkers had a RSVP date of 1 month before. It was a bit of a scramble getting answers from the first batch, but then I just hand delivered all the invites at work 3 weeks before my 2nd RSVP date.
Post # 11
Thank you! I will let you know what happens 😉
Post # 12
I only invited one co-worker from a staff of about 8, but out of the whole staff, she was the only one with whom I had spent time with outside of work. Everyone at work was pretty understanding, and I promised to show everyone pictures later (they were genuinely excited about the pictures).