(Closed) Invite coworkers?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Mr S is inviting 3 co-workers to the actual wedding and dinner protion, as they are fairly close to him. The rest, of which there are several – are invited to the dance portion only. This way they can come if they want, no pressure. And no added expense to you.

It could be a good compromise for the two of you. 

Post # 4
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I’d only invite co-workers if you also hang out with them outside of work.

Post # 5
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I agree with EK – extend an invite only if you hang out with them outside of work.  I work in an office of about 33 people and am only inviting the 5 that I consider to be my friends.

Post # 6
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2005

Third what EK said.

Post # 7
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My fiance is inviting everyone from his office, which total 10, he spends plenty of time with them except maybe one, and he loves them all like a second family (his boss and other coworkers call him on weekends to check football scores), so it makes sense for us to invite them all.  His works has a lot of outside work functions, so I know them better than I know my own coworkers. 

So ditto on extending invites if you feel them to be your extended family.

Post # 8
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I fourth what EK said.     

Post # 9
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Like most of the bees responding, we are only inviting those people from work that we socialize with outside of work.  That turns out to be all of three people.  Our thought was – sure we enjoy working with these people and like them fine.  But if we don’t like them enough to have invited them over for dinner (and if they don’t like us enough ditto) then its not appropriate or necessary to invite them to the wedding.  Because to be totally honest, if they quit their job and moved away, we probably wouldn’t even send Christmas cards.  We like them, but we spend time with them because we are paid to.  (Hey, its work.)

Post # 10
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’m going through the same thing too! There’s only 6 of us at my branch. I’ve been thinking about the same thing too lately. The only person I’m close to is my manager. I consider him one of my good friends. Well, more like a father figure. LoL But I kept thinking about the other girl in the office that always ask me about wedding stuff. I just started working with her not even 2mths and she invited me to her engagement party. It felt wierd. I didn’t go b/c I had another wedding to go to that same weekend. When another coworker of mine found out I was getting married (and this is the second day we worked together) he asked if he was invited! WTH?! With that said DO NOT feel obligated to invite them.
I’m only planning on inviting my manager and other coworkers from another branch. We talk outside of work and know more about eachother other then our work ethics.

Post # 11
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Nope- no coworkers for me either.

I do enjoy working with them, they are all very friendly and lovely.  But I really just want close friends and family at the wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Some people will get their noses out of joint if they don’t get an invite, but it’s your wedding and do what feels right.  It might cause some awkwardness if you don’t invite some/all co-workers, but it subsides quickly.

I only invited a handful of co-workers, and I knew some who weren’t invited were miffed.  I think it’s more abotu wanting to be included than actually really wanting to be part of your day.

Plus, nowadays, we rarely work at a place for the rest of our lives.  In 10 years, when you look back at your wedding, will you care if that random co-worker was at your wedding?  That might help you draw the deciding factor.  Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

i don’t hang out with my coworkers outside of work, but my boss is letting me take significantly more vacation for the wedding than i have, so i thought it was important to invite her. i only have 1 other coworker in my department, so i invited that person too. it requires significant travel for them to come to the wedding, so it was more of a goodwill gesture than anything else.

Post # 14
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I had one very nice co-worker ask if he and his wife were invited – and from the look on my face I think he realized he had stepped wrong because he immediately followed up by saying that while they would love to be there they totally understand if we are just having a small wedding or have space limitations.  I let him know that both are true, and told him that while we would love to have everybody there it just isn’t possible.  I am hoping that makes its way around the office.  If you have co-workers who you think expect to be invited, in particular one who asks about plans a lot, I would say something along those lines – and then when the subject comes up while you’re not there (or when they are all complaining about not being invited, later on) I am sure someone will explain.  I firmly believe I shouldn’t have to explain why you’re not going to be invited unless you actually ask me…

Post # 15
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

if you dont consider them friends out of the office – then why spring for them on one of the most important days of your life?

friends are friends; business is business…

 

Post # 16
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I am inviting my boss and her husband only.  Fi is inviting about 75% of his office (~40 people with sig o’s).  Obviously, I wasn’t thrilled about the extra cost, but we DO hang out with most of them outside of work, and 10 of those people are his bosses (just good politics).  So it is what it is. 

To answer your question: do what feels right, not what you think they want.

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