Post # 1
Hi Bees! – My fiancee and I are from New York and want to have a smaller intimate wedding in Napa California but we both have gigantic families. This sounds so afwul but we are mostly having a destination wedding because we want to keep the wedding simple and small and enjoy ourselves on the big day. To accomodate and include everyone on both sides we want to have a big reception back in NY.
What is the best way of sending out invites in this situation? We chose a venue in Napa that maxes out at 100 people and we are inviting 75-100 for the big day. We were aiming to invite around 250-300 to the big reception. We worry that if we send out an invite to EVERYONE for the wedding (all 250-300 people) and more than 100 decide to come to Napa then we are really screwed since our venue doesnt allow more than 100 people.
Has anyone had a destination wedding and then a reception after they got married? I’m not sure how to go about this without upsetting or offending anyone!
Thanks in advance for your advice! 🙂
This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by kickit1189.
Post # 2
Our venue only fit 50 max. So if 10 declined, it made a difference in inviting other friends that we wanted there but didn’t fit.
we sent out the invites in “levels” of importance….each set/level was sent out at different times (each level was sent earlier) and had a different RSVP date (Earlier).
level 1: bridal party/immediate family
level 2: close friends/family/their guests
level 3: flaky family we felt we were obligated to invite but we were 99% they would decline (and they did)
Level 4: the waiting list: the remainder of our friend….anyone who declined in level 3 left open seats for people in level 4.
we knew that people in level 3 would decline….but we knew if we didn’t invite them it would create drama. But we couldn’t risk inviting people in level 4 and 3 and then the venue had no space to for everyone.
it worked out well for us!
Post # 3
For my destination wedding and at home reception I chose a vintage old world travel theme. I ordered invitations for our reception (very simple- blue with some scrollwork and wax seals) then I handmade matching vintage wooden luggage tags with an invitation to our ceremony and attached it to the reception invitation using old world metal keys- it worked out great! Good luck with your planning!!
Post # 4
I’d make a decision up front on who you want at the wedding in Napa and who you would prefer to see in New York/who may be unable to attend the ceremony in Napa. Like BookTea suggested, you can use levels or tiers to help you decide this. That way you won’t worry about all 250 people showing up in Napa.
Post # 5
Definitely do not inviete everyone to Napa.
You’re having two events, you need two invites.