Post # 1
Hi, new to this site.
need help on my situation with who to invite. I work with about 15 people. I want to invite them all as I consider them my friends and I have been working there for many years. But I hate one person who I don’t want at the wedding. Is it fine or wrong to invite everyone except her? I was planning on telling everyone to keep it a secret and she would never know? How would you go about this?
My boss is someone I would want to invite but there’s also a whole group of about 5-9 ex-coworkers who I am still friends with who I would like to invite too. Problem is that the group of ex coworkers and my boss all hate each other. They left because they hated him/he fired them and they’re all enemies.
HELP??! Thanks! I would love to hear what you think I should do with these two issues!
Post # 2
You really can’t invite everyone from work except one person, you could invite a group you were friends with and not the rest but leaving one out could be seen as bullying.
As for your boss I would invite him if the ex-coworkers don’t like him I’m sure they can all be adults for one event
Post # 3
If everyone but one person is invited that would be incredibly awkward for you at work. Your wedding is one day but you’ll have to continue to work with these people. I would go ahead and invite everyone…who knows that person may not like you either and won’t go.
I agree with jmbee…I’m sure everyone can be adults for a couple hours so go ahead and invite your boss.
Post # 4
As long as you and your co-workers don’t bang on about your wedding at work, I don’t see why you should invite someone you don’t like. I assume the feeling is mutual so she won’t be checking the post for an invite.
I would also invite my boss and former co-workers, I would never boycott a friend’s wedding or resent them, if they invited people I didn’t like. It’s their/your wedding. They don’t have to slow dance together and it’s not high school thank god.
Post # 5
The thing is the girl I hate probably expects an invite, she has no idea I hate her and i just fake nice to her just because it’s easier. She even made a comment about what to get for me wedding gift. She is definitely expecting an invite
Post # 6
+ 1 – I think this is the only way.
Post # 7
i was already going to say I thought you should invite her, but especially now that you say she doesn’t even know you don’t like her. She’s bound to find out and will be incredibly hurt if she’s the only one not invited. Chances are you won’t have time to really speak to her anyway, and it will stop a lot of potential awkwardness in the office later.
for the boss and the ex colleagues, invite them all if they’re your friends. You don’t need to have them sitting together and they’re unlikely to start fighting at your wedding!
Post # 8
Why exactly don’t you like her? If she isn’t aware you dislike her then there obviously isn’t any mutual hatred there. Is she just annoying or has she actually wronged you in some way? It’s your wedding and at the end of the day you can invite whoever you want but I personally think the right thing to do would be to invite her. If need be you can just block her out on the day. As for the other people then invite them all if you want to and just sit them on separate tables away from each other and trust that they can all behave like adults and put their differences aside for one day and just help you celebrate you’re marriage.
Post # 9
I don’t suppose there’s a way to NOT invite people from work?? Like, no one? This is why I like to keep work people separate from my personal life. Too sticky. If you must invite work people, definitely include the gal you don’t like.
Post # 10
I think you’d be a jerk to invite someone you hate and get a gift from her while she is all unaware. My suggestion to you would be to talk to this woman, and maybe work out why you don’t like her. Faking nice isn’t any better than being honest about your dislike of her. It’s actually worse.
Depending on why you hate her so maybe you can work on that relationship so it wont be awkward to invite her to the wedding, otherwise I would just tell her why you have issues with her and alleviate her disappointment in not being invited. As far as the ex coworkers and boss situation go, I agree with PPS, everyone should be able to play nice for a day. Good luck
Post # 11
You think 14 people all in on a secret would be able to keep it from the one person who’s not in on it? That’s just silly. You can’t invite 14 out of 15 people and expect that to not have repercussions at work. Whether I was the person left out or one of the ones invited, I would think it was shitty. That’s actually a good way to get at least a few of your current “friends” to start sympathizing with her instead. Invite them all or invite none. Or deal with the awkward situation that’s sure to result if you exclude one specific person.
Post # 12
I don’t see a way around it. I’d definitely invite her. She’s bound to find out she was the only one excluded and it’s just going to cause even more problems. As others have said, you’re wedding is one day and afterwards you have to work with these people.
Also, how big is your wedding? Chances are you won’t even really notice her.
As far as the boss, I’d invite him. Everyone is adults right? In sure they can make it work for one night.
Post # 13
Definitely don’t exclude one person. That’s just mean.
Post # 14
I would not invite anyone and if they asked afterwards, say that you decided to have a family only affair. Problem solved.
Post # 15
I’m friendly with a lot of people at work, but not inviting any of them. I like to keep my private life separate from work.