Invite Fiancé's Friend and wife or not?

posted 7 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think anyone would fault you for telling your fiancé you don’t feel comfortable extending that particular couple an invitation to your wedding. 

Post # 3
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

It would be different if she had cleared the air with you once, then left it behind and  treated it like ancient history. But to keep on reminding you isn’t cool. 

Explain just that to your fiance and don’t invite them. 

 

Post # 4
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee

well, I sorta feel like since you have forgiven your fiance she shouldn’t be held to a different standard.

Post # 5
Member
341 posts
Helper bee

No, absolutely don’t invite them! Frankly it’s her own doing for ever thinking it was in any way appropriate for her to bring up her past with your fiancé. You’ve already been incredibly magnanimous to even allow her to be a part of your lives at all. 

Don’t feel guilty about your FI’s friendship, either – I may be being harsh but I don’t think he gets a say on whether he invites the woman he cheated with to your wedding?! His friend must have known the situation when he decided to marry her, and by your own admission you haven’t spoken to this couple in years. You’re hardly breaking up a firm friendship.

Post # 8
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee

beesknees1216 :  Koodos to you for forgiving you’re FI I wouldn’t have been able too.\

With that being said don’t invite her….that’s not needed.

Post # 10
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I say absolutely not. This is your day to focus on your nuptials and happiness. Why burden yourself with skeletons from the past who like to remind you awkwardly that they are a skeleton in your Fi’s closet? 

Post # 11
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Yeh,that would be a big ol nope from me. Imagine having pics taken or greeting people and then she comes up and gives another comment. Thats your day marred. Sorry but nope nope nope!

Post # 12
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

The way I see it, there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty for getting between him and his friend, because it was his action that caused the two of you to be in this situation. It’s wonderful threat you could work through it and keep a strong relationship with him. However, relationships are about compromise and taking your partners feelings into consideration. I think he should be the one to do that in this situation. I don’t know anyone who would be comfortable having someone that was part of a previous breach in trust in their relationship present at their wedding. 

Post # 13
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Don’t invite them.

Post # 14
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

beesknees1216 :  this woman sounds f ed up. You haven’t interacted for years- no need to feel uncomfortable for not inviting them

Post # 15
Member
341 posts
Helper bee

kharpe6 :  I totally agree! It was his mistake, so he’s the one who should have to compromise. OP is blameless in all of this. 

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