(Closed) Invite FSIL's Family???

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Invite FSIL's family?
    Yes, they are part of your extended family : (8 votes)
    31 %
    No! You don't know them and are not obligated to extend an invitation to them : (17 votes)
    65 %
    Other (please explain) : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9917 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Since your fiance included them, he obviously wants them there…

    Post # 4
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I agree with PP, if your Fiance would like them at the wedding then they should stay on the list.  Have you asked him about it? 

    If his parents put them on the list, and he doesn’t care either way, and his parents are not contributing, then you do not need to include them.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3720 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We are inviting both married sets (not the two sets of parents for the unmarried siblings). Fiance tried to count them as family and they were non-negotiable and both sets assumed they were invited (one was correct to assume it was a given)

    Post # 7
    Member
    275 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Inlaws of my FI’s siblings were all invited to other family weddings.  I think it’s weird for my family but it’s common in that family.

    Post # 8
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We are inviting my BIL’s immediate family (his parents and sister) however I see them at least a few times a year, have celebrated several holidays at their house, and my parents see them regularly. My Fiance is okay with it, because while he’s only met them a couple times, he know it is important to me and my family that they be there.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1141 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would guess that your Fi has spent some time with them. Why start family drama right off the bat and you don’t want to alienate your new family. Your Fiance could make the same claim about people your family knows.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1141 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would guess that your Fi has spent some time with them. Why start family drama right off the bat and you don’t want to alienate your new family. Your Fiance could make the same claim about people your family knows.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    We are inviting my BIL’s parents (because my niece, their granddaughter, is the flower girl) and his aunt and uncle. I was a little surprised that his parents were literally one of the first to RSVP and make their hotel reservation! They have to travel quite a way to be there, but it’s a chance for them to see their son and granddaughter. The aunt and uncle live quite a bit closer, and the uncle and BIL are very close, so I expect they will also come.

    I wasn’t sure about including them, initially, but we have a big, close-knit family and they are a part of it now after they traveled to our hometown to attend the flower girl’s baptism … I’m happy they’ll be coming!

    Post # 12
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We in invited my husband’s brother in law’s parents but they were good friends growing up and it was only after the fact that he started dating dh’s sister so he knew them well. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    5662 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We invited fsils in laws, but they’ve been around fh a lot in the ten years that her and her husband have been together and I’ve met them quite a few times so it seemed like the right thing to do. If they’re on the if the budget allows list, and your fi thinks its important then you should probably leave them on here. You can all decide later wether to actually invite Them or not.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6823 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Personally I wouldn’t.  We had the same type of deal.  My Darling Husband wanted to invite my SIL parents and brother. I put my foot down on it.  They are not imediate family and I am sorry um  no… I put it this way, if the shoe was on the other foot, I would not expect BIL/SIL to invite my parents or brother. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    368 posts
    Helper bee

    I think the litmus test is whether you would expect Future Sister-In-Law to invite your parents, siblings,  and nieces/nephews to her (hypothetical) wedding. If you wouldn’t be bothered by that, then I don’t think they’d be bothered by not getting an invitation to your wedding.

    However, if your Fiance is close to them, then they are probably worth inviting if you can afford it.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2233 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t want to but we are inviting FBIL’s family (all 10 of them, parents, siblings, wives & kids). Thankfully none of FI’s other siblings’ in law are really around otherwise our guest list would be out of control.

    I would say if you Fiance feels that they should be invited than you should include them.

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