(Closed) Invite Girl Who Insulted Me?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

send an invite with only his name on it, if he asks if he can bring a date say no because there isn’t room.  he may choose not to attend, but at least she won’t be there either

Post # 4
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@RunningSphynx:  i would tell him you dont want her there PERIOD!!!!!

why should you have her there on one of the most importand day of your lives.

i had a similar situation with me and my FH he has a girl/friend who is also a coworker of mine

they were really good friends (just friends) but she just rubs me the wrong way at work

ive known her for a while too but ive never really cared for her shes not someone i would ever hang out with were just two diffrent people. but my FH her and her SO were all real good friends. so he wanted her in the bridal party and at first i said yes to this but as time went on and at work she has dont things that have pissed me off i said no the bridal party at least my bridesmaids should be my close family and girlfriends its an honor to stand next to me while we get married and she does not fit that part in my life. so i kicked her out of my bridal party and i have not even told her and im not going to. but its not so bad that i would not want her at the wedding she can come but she was not being part of my bridal party. i would tell him you dont want her there but his friend can come. are they engaged?

Post # 6
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

If she was just a girlfriend it would be different, but she is his Fiance – so IMO, they are a package deal. 

One of our groomsmen’s wife is kind of a Mega B, but she is his wife, and we have to understand that they are a package regardless if we like her or not. 

Basically does your dislike for her outweigh having the guy friend there? If you really want him there, then I think you should invite his Fiance. If you don’t want to risk it, then I wouldn’t invite him. 

Post # 7
Member
4950 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would just not invite either of them. If you only invite him, it singles her out and he’ll be pissed that you have a problem with his fiance. Whereas is you don’t invite them both, you can say there wasn’t room etc and possibly he can maintain a friendship with the guy, and you can not be around her. 

Post # 8
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

She told you that you looked like a dog??

That’s a no. A big no! I say etiquette be damned. You don’t need that negativity at your wedding.  And just imagine if she tries to hang all over your husband at the reception?! 

Post # 9
Member
6215 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I wouldn’t invite either of them. If he marries her, chances are you won’t be friends with that guy for much longer anyway, since you won’t want to hang out with his wife.

Post # 10
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Don’t do it!

My best (male) friend got married recently. His best man is a really chill, likeable guy. But his girlfriend is a turd, and everyone knows it. They invited her despite all temptations and advice to the contrary, and during the reception she was trash-talking the wedding, some of the guests, and the bride’s mom. The bride’s mom, having overheard and being a kind and fair but also outspoken woman, told her politely and firmly to stop. Well, the girl had a fit and the mom, not realizing that she was the best man’s date, asked her to leave before she ruined the wedding. The groom sees the best man and his lady leaving before the toasts had even been given, and gets super upset. He convinces them to come back in, and she gets the stink eye from EVERYONE the entire night.

Another friend invited an acquaintance known for being a b—, and she trash-talked the bride!!Her wedding was four years ago, and she still remembers the black mark on her day.

 

Post # 11
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

TBH I would say NO to inviting them at all.  Yes they are a package deal…therefore when you say NO to one you say NO to the other.  So I’d hope my Fiance would support me.

On the other hand, I’ve made some sacrifices (or whatever you’d call it) to support Fiance inviting some people he REALLY REALLY REALLY cares about even though they have been disrespectful and downright hurtful to me in the past.  Fiance has had to have 2 talks with these people because even after they were invited and explained the challenge of inviting them due to their behavior…they still got snarky and disrespectful. 

So, if you decide to invite them make sure Fiance is on board to step in if they are getting out of hand.

Post # 12
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Well because they are engaged unfortunatly you cannot invite one and not the other… She does sound horrible though! If your Fiance really does want his friend there, then you really don’t have a choice without possibly causing more drama for yourself. You probably won’t even see her or notice her on your big day! If you can talk to your Fiance and he agrees to not invite his friend, it seems like that’s the only way to have her not attend your wedding. 

Post # 13
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would tell you fiance that you absolutely don’t want her at the wedding because of how she has treated you. There was no reason why she should have insulted you especially since the two of you don’t know each other well. But if your Fiance won’t budge and like PP said, she is the friend’s fiancee and not just Girlfriend I would just invite them and be cordial but not overly polite to her. I wouldn’t worry about what she is going to do at your wedding. It is going to make her look like a fool not you.

Post # 14
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@RunningSphynx:  Yikes how rude of her! I’m sure etiquette says you should invite her as well. But honestly I can’t stand most etiquette rules! Especially since they don’t factor in situations like this. If I were you I wouldn’t invite her. If her Fiance is offended at this and wants to take it out on your man, you guys can either chalk it up to finances being too tight, or you can just be honest! I doubt this girl is someone you’ll ever be interested in having any type of relationship with in the future so eh why bother?

Post # 15
Member
3141 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

nope no invite for her 

Post # 16
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

I get that this young woman represents everything that can be awful, tawdry and downright pitiable in a person, as well as bringing the suck and being generally unpleasant to be around, all that being said, it is never advisable to sink to their level…invite her boyfriend who will of course bring her to the wedding and then slip one of the waiters a $20 to spill a tray of food down the front of her.

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