(Closed) Invite her or not

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you do?
    Ask him to be a GM, but to not bring her : (10 votes)
    29 %
    Ask him to be a GM, and not mention her (whether she can come or not) : (7 votes)
    20 %
    Ask him to be a GM, and invite her : (6 votes)
    17 %
    Don't ask him to be GM, possibly causing more drama with her : (11 votes)
    31 %
    Other option: : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Are you inviting SOs for the other guests?  If so, you really should invite her to be fair.  It should be across the board and not just applied to certain people because you don’t likle them.

    Post # 4
    Member
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Have you asked why she doesn’t want someone like you in her life? Does she understand the circumstances of why you were seperated? Honestly I would have unfriended her a long time ago. I’d go ahead and ask the friend to be a gm but have him explain then that ya’ll aren’t comfortable with Girlfriend being there and explain why. I’m sure he will understand, especially since he has to deal with her.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2820 posts
    Sugar bee

    I agree wtih Inkypoo. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2288 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Has your Fiance talked to his friend about her? Maybe he can help smooth things over. Honestly, you should invite her if Fiance asks his friend to be a Groomsmen. Assuming that friend knows the history here, then he and his Girlfriend may decide that she shouldn’t come, especially if she “doesn’t want someone like you” in her life.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I’d invite her.  If nothing else, it shows that you’re the bigger person.  Chances are she won’t come, but be prepared for her to be there. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    If he is a groomsmen and they have been together for a while (whcih it sounds like) then she needs to be invited.

    So, I think you either ask him to be a groomsman with the risk that she attends the wedding.  Or, you don’t ask him to a groomsman.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1315 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Just invite them as regular guests. You’ll have so many people to talk to on the day that you can easily just thank her for coming and not see her the rest of the day. It’d be nice for your fella to have his friend there, and you can’t very well ask him without his partner – no matter what you think of her, he obviously likes her. At least if he’s not in the bridal party she can”t be bitching about being on her own for the ceremony etc.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1854 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    You can choose not to invite her, but then your Friend might also choose not to come if his Girlfriend can’t come with him.

    What is more important to you: have him there, or not have her there?

    I don’t think you can have it both ways. Let your Fiance handle the discussion since it’s his friend. Maybe send him an invite with a +1 and let him decide who he wants to bring, letting him know verbally how you feel about hig Girlfriend, but that it’s completely up to him…

    Chances are she may not want to be there, so at least he’ll get to invite someone else to go with him…

    Post # 11
    Member
    2201 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think if it’s important to Fiance to have him as a groomsmen, ask him. But, sit down and tell him that it doesn’t seem like Girlfriend supports your union and if that is the case, you would prefer that she not attend the wedding.

    And leave it up to him to make his own decision at that point (participate and not bring her, participate and bring her, not participate, etc.).

    Post # 12
    Member
    617 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I agree with jennifer espos. Here’s the question I would ask myself – is her not coming more important to me than my Fiance having his friend as a groomsman? Weigh that out and def talk with your Fiance and maye have Fiance talk with his friend to figure out what the issue is.

    Post # 12
    Member
    179 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We had a similar issue with our Best Man and his whacky Girlfriend. Fiance made it clear to his best man that she wasnt welcome at our wedding and he understood. Its your wedding and the last thing you want is people there who arent happy for you.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    you should really talk to the Gm. You need to be honest but not mean. Try not to go in nasty details. Explain she isnt some one you want at your wedding. be prepared for him to be a little upset, but at least your honest. And he dosn’t end up hearing some where else.

    Post # 14
    Member
    406 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    she sounds like a loose cannon, and you dont want a loose cannon at the wedding-what if she went off?

    don’t invite her. i think Groomsmen will understand. I have seen this happen before and it’s a better situation than having her be there.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I would have Fiance talk to Groomsmen about his Girlfriend and what a b**** she’s been to you.  He could talk about how you both really want to invite him to the wedding, but YOU aren’t comfortable with her being there since she’s been such a tart.  If he still seems receptive to attending the wedding without her, THEN I would have Fiance ask him to be a Groomsmen for the wedding.  But I would set it up so that he gets a feel of whether or not he would be willing to attend without her first.

    I personally have a very similiar situation.  If I was getting married again, I would NOT invite her to the wedding.  It is so not worth it to have bad people sitting that close to you at the reception!

    The topic ‘Invite her or not’ is closed to new replies.

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