Post # 1
We are having a large delima. Let me first give you the short version of some background:
I had a friend who is dating one of FI’s friends, lets call her Girlfriend. We used to all hang out and do stuff. The last time we hung out, we road tripped to an AC/DC concert. Well, she got upset about some things that happened there (we didn’t walk back to hotel with them after the concert becuase we got seperated in the swarm of people). Well, after that, she wouldn’t talk to me, return my phone calls, anything. I finally asked her what was up on facebook and she told me that she didn’t want a person like me in her life. Ok, whatever. Well, this other girl got engaged and not long after I “officially” did. So, GF put on her facebook: Tis the season to get engaged, I guess. Then the comments went on and the other girl wrote she hopes she isn’t talking about her and Girlfriend was like No! I am so happy for you guys, its about time. And she said how getting engaged was just a fad and if her Boyfriend or Best Friend asked her she would say no right now, all this stupid stuff. But that was just the beginning! She even wrote on her facebook that the song “pray for you” was for us! She has texted me numerous times about how she feels bad for Fiance and how much I have messed with his mind and that the reason that him and his friend aren’t friends anymore is because of me. Fiance got so mad that he ended up calling her and yelling at her! (He can’t stand her, and he is still friends with her Boyfriend or Best Friend, even hangs out with him) Well, she has said all this crazy stuff, and we really don’t like her or want her around or anything.
So, here is the problem! Fiance wants to ask his Friend to be a Groomsmen. The problem is, we don’t want Girlfriend to be there. I don’t know if she would even come, but we are worried that she will. What can we do?! If the tables were turned and they were getting married, I would want to be with Fiance, but then again I don’t know if I would care to be at her wedding either. I just don’t know what to do! Please help bees! 🙂
Post # 3
Are you inviting SOs for the other guests? If so, you really should invite her to be fair. It should be across the board and not just applied to certain people because you don’t likle them.
Post # 4
Have you asked why she doesn’t want someone like you in her life? Does she understand the circumstances of why you were seperated? Honestly I would have unfriended her a long time ago. I’d go ahead and ask the friend to be a gm but have him explain then that ya’ll aren’t comfortable with Girlfriend being there and explain why. I’m sure he will understand, especially since he has to deal with her.
Post # 6
Has your Fiance talked to his friend about her? Maybe he can help smooth things over. Honestly, you should invite her if Fiance asks his friend to be a Groomsmen. Assuming that friend knows the history here, then he and his Girlfriend may decide that she shouldn’t come, especially if she “doesn’t want someone like you” in her life.
Post # 7
I’d invite her. If nothing else, it shows that you’re the bigger person. Chances are she won’t come, but be prepared for her to be there.
Post # 8
If he is a groomsmen and they have been together for a while (whcih it sounds like) then she needs to be invited.
So, I think you either ask him to be a groomsman with the risk that she attends the wedding. Or, you don’t ask him to a groomsman.
Post # 9
Just invite them as regular guests. You’ll have so many people to talk to on the day that you can easily just thank her for coming and not see her the rest of the day. It’d be nice for your fella to have his friend there, and you can’t very well ask him without his partner – no matter what you think of her, he obviously likes her. At least if he’s not in the bridal party she can”t be bitching about being on her own for the ceremony etc.
Post # 10
You can choose not to invite her, but then your Friend might also choose not to come if his Girlfriend can’t come with him.
What is more important to you: have him there, or not have her there?
I don’t think you can have it both ways. Let your Fiance handle the discussion since it’s his friend. Maybe send him an invite with a +1 and let him decide who he wants to bring, letting him know verbally how you feel about hig Girlfriend, but that it’s completely up to him…
Chances are she may not want to be there, so at least he’ll get to invite someone else to go with him…
Post # 11
I think if it’s important to Fiance to have him as a groomsmen, ask him. But, sit down and tell him that it doesn’t seem like Girlfriend supports your union and if that is the case, you would prefer that she not attend the wedding.
And leave it up to him to make his own decision at that point (participate and not bring her, participate and bring her, not participate, etc.).
Post # 12
I agree with jennifer espos. Here’s the question I would ask myself – is her not coming more important to me than my Fiance having his friend as a groomsman? Weigh that out and def talk with your Fiance and maye have Fiance talk with his friend to figure out what the issue is.
Post # 12
We had a similar issue with our Best Man and his whacky Girlfriend. Fiance made it clear to his best man that she wasnt welcome at our wedding and he understood. Its your wedding and the last thing you want is people there who arent happy for you.
Post # 13
you should really talk to the Gm. You need to be honest but not mean. Try not to go in nasty details. Explain she isnt some one you want at your wedding. be prepared for him to be a little upset, but at least your honest. And he dosn’t end up hearing some where else.
Post # 14
she sounds like a loose cannon, and you dont want a loose cannon at the wedding-what if she went off?
don’t invite her. i think Groomsmen will understand. I have seen this happen before and it’s a better situation than having her be there.
Post # 15
I would have Fiance talk to Groomsmen about his Girlfriend and what a b**** she’s been to you. He could talk about how you both really want to invite him to the wedding, but YOU aren’t comfortable with her being there since she’s been such a tart. If he still seems receptive to attending the wedding without her, THEN I would have Fiance ask him to be a Groomsmen for the wedding. But I would set it up so that he gets a feel of whether or not he would be willing to attend without her first.
I personally have a very similiar situation. If I was getting married again, I would NOT invite her to the wedding. It is so not worth it to have bad people sitting that close to you at the reception!