(Closed) invite lesbian partner to shower?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would invite her – I think that showers are more of a “female only” thing rather than a “no couples” thing – if I was her, I’d assume I was invited and probably be a little hurt if I wasn’t. Just my two cents. 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Is there any issue around shortage of space in the shower?  If not, inviting her would probably build up a lot of good will!

Post # 5
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I’d definitely invite her! I think she would really appreciate the gesture!

Post # 6
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Yeah, I agree with the others.  I would invite her unless there’s some really specific reason why you can’t/don’t want to (space, really deep dislike, etc.).

Post # 7
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I guess I read something different from your comment. It looked to me like you don’t want to invite your friend’s partner – I got that from you mentioning that you figure she’ll assume she’s invited although you don’t know why.

If you don’t want to invite her – don’t invite her. Bridal showers are usually for close friends and relatives – people you feel comfortable inviting to an event where they’re expected to give you gifts.  You don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want to. There are tons of people I don’t anticipate inviting – for the specific reason that I’d rather have only those I’m very close to. Clearly she should be at the wedding as your friend’s partner, but bridal showers aren’t a +1 affair in my opinion.

If you did want to invite her and I was reading into it wrong — well then ! I was wrong. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

One of my bridesmaids is a lesbian and I invited her partner to my shower which is taking place next weekend. My bridesmaid is one of my best friends and the shower is for all of the women so I wouldn’t have it any other way

Post # 9
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why do you not know why she would think she would be invited? To me, it would make sense to invite her if you’re not short on space and wouldn’t mind having her there. If you don’t want her there, don’t invite her.

One of my BM’s is married to a woman and I plan on inviting her to the shower since we do hang out through my Bridesmaid or Best Man. = )

Post # 10
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No question about it for me, I would invite her, she is still a female.

Post # 11
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree that showers are for women, not just one half of a couple.  My cousin is a lesbian and her partner was invited (couldn’t make it, but still invited).  But, if you don’t want to invite her, that is entirely up to you.

Post # 12
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I think you could make a case for inviting her and one for not inviting her. But absolutely you would create the most goodwill and injure the fewest potential feelings if you did invite her.

Post # 14
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

my one bridesmaid is a lesbian, her partner is definitly invited to everything my bridesmaid is… she is still a girl after all, and funny as hell, cant party without her

Post # 15
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

PS, my lesbian bridesmaid whos wedding i was also a bridesmaid for before she realized she liked girls i walked up the aisle with the grooms sister who was also a lesbian and groomswoman… made for some fun pictures, wish i knew where they were ill have to ask heidi if she has them still, now that she is divorced and happily in love for once in her life

Post # 16
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

The least you can do is invite her then it would be up to her to come or not.

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