Post # 1
Now this isn’t like the post about the bee who was unsure about her uncle’s mistress. My grandfather died in 2005. A few years later my Grandmother started sort of, I guess, dating one of the men at her retirement community. They go out to dinner together, they see movies together, she keeps beer in her refrigerator for him, and she signs e-mails to him “Love.” It’s just never really been addressed in the family that they’re an item. Or, I don’t know, maybe it has. I haven’t seen my family in about five years. But I’m essentially wondering if I should give my grandmother a plus-one for her sort of boyfriend?
Post # 3
I would just ask her if she’d like to bring him.
Post # 4
@luluvohn: If she has been with him for any substaintial amount of time, I would invite him by name.
The elderly woman I tutor who’s become a sort of 3rd Grandmother to me, has had the same arrangement as you described for about 15 years (her husband died 25+ years ago). She wont call him her “boyfriend” since she believes at her age it sounds immature and silly. I addressed the invite to “Mrs. Dorothy M— & Mr Norbert W—-” and they both were so happy with that. The invitation was given to Dorothy though and we had the strict understanding that if she ever didn’t like Norbert, ediquette be damned, she could bring whomever she wanted instead 🙂 She was very touched by my offer.
I think your grandmother would find it sweet that you’re acknowledging her relationship and not treating it like it doesn’t count or should be hidden just because she’s older and doesn’t want to put a direct label onto what they have.
And as a reference Norbert was invited by name to both of her Son’s weddings which occured 4 and 5 years ago 🙂
Post # 5
Uh, yes, you should definitely invite him by name. It does no dishonor to your grandfather. He passed away. She is allowed to date again!
If she was cheating on your grandfather, you could tell her boyfriend where to stick it. In fact, I’d recommend it, and probably wouldn’t invite either her or her boyfriend at all. This situation is not similar to that at all!
Post # 6
Yep, I’d invite him. We were going to invite my grandmother’s boyfriend but then he kicked it. They didn’t even go to movies or dinner together or write emails to each other – mostly they just sat side-by-side in their wheelchairs watching the cats that live at the retirement center.
Post # 7
@luluvohn: %100 invite him, I’m sure your G-ma will be happy on your wedding day, but don’t you think you would like to see her having a good time with her friends too. And I would wager that he may not come bc they are older and they both know they have had seperate lives. But I think it would be a nice gesture and that way there isn’t a chance of offence by not inviting him.
Post # 8
I would invite him, clearly he is important to her.