(Closed) Invite Officiant to Reception?

posted 10 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I plan to invite mine, as fo her spouse – you know I never thought of it.

I’ll be interestecd to see hat everyone else says bout the spouse thing. 

Post # 4
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee

Yes, invite him and his wife.  They probably won’t stay long, but it’s the courteous thing to do.

Post # 5
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’ve always heard to invite them and their spouse. Like you, I don’t know mine well because i don’t attend their church, but i thought i would extend the invite.

Post # 6
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Definitely invite them.

Post # 7
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Yes, you absolutely invite both of them!! And yes, send them an invitation!

Post # 8
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

You should send an invitation to the officiant and his/her spouse – for the wedding, reception, and of course the rehearsal dinner if you are having one.  Traditionally, you also seat them at the head table (again, if you are having one).

Whether or not they attend the Rehearsal Dinner or reception probably depends on the relationship you have with them.  Our officiant (a retired pastor) and his wife are people that we just met in looking for someone to marry us, but through the process of premarital counseling we have gotten to know each other rather well.  They are comnig to the Rehearsal Dinner and to the reception (and she will of course also be at the wedding).

Post # 9
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Thank you for bringing up this issue!  We’ve been wondering whether to invite our officiant (and his wife) too.  He was recommended to us by a friend of ours, who I believe just picked his name from a list of recommended officiants.  He’s a lovely man but we’re already paying him $500 to perform the ceremony and are reluctant to pay an extra $250 for him and his wife to attend the reception since we don’t really know either of them. 

Post # 10
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

i wouldn’t invite them. my Future Sister-In-Law is going to be our officiant so she is of course coming anyway, but if it was just an officiant i was hiring then definitely no.

unless it is a special case where you really like them and are already friends. that’s not the case in your situation so i think youre safe to not invite them.

you are paying them for a service. they do their job and are on their way. they might not even want to stay.

are we also supposed to invite the florist? where do you draw the line?

it should be based on how you feel about them not a sense of obligation.

good luck 

Post # 11
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Well, typically you don’t treat the officiant like a vendor.  But then typically, you would be spending some time with this person before the ceremony – you would know them at least a little; they would know you well enough to say something meaningful about your relationship.  If you really spent no more quality time with your officiant than your florist…

Post # 12
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

suzanno has a point!

i don’t think of it this way since when we are not members of any religion or church and it would only be a vendor to me.

i think every situation is different.

Post # 13
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2005

Yes.

Post # 14
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Yes, you invite both him and his wife.  This is standard "procedure" and etiquiette — even if it is simply a hired officiant.  If he feels comfortable staying he will, otherwise he will politely turn down your invitation. 

No, you do not invite your florist.

Yes, you do feed your photographer, dj, and coordinator. 

The difference is that your officiant gets an offical invitation and the same meal as the guests; whereas, your vendors may only get a "vendor meal".   Technically your officiant is not a vendor.

Post # 15
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I would invite him and his wife out of respect for doing the wedding! I think that it would be rude for him to do the wedding, and not invite him to dinner. It’s only one or two more people added to your list, not too many!

Post # 16
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was wondering about this too. 

I am getting married in the church and I don’t know the officiant yet.  They are charging us $900 and I’m reading about tipping them too.  It said a donation to the church, but is that on top of the $900 they charge?

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