(Closed) Invite officiant to rehearsal dinner

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: invite officiant to rehearsal dinner?
    yes, of course : (14 votes)
    82 %
    no, she isn't family : (3 votes)
    18 %
    other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I believe the etiquette if to invite them. We’re close with our as he’s our Pastor and we serve under him so we didn’t think twice about inviting him & his wife.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

    Etiquette is to invite them. You can’t reherse without a minister, so inviting them to the rehersal but not the dinner is a bit rude, In My Humble Opinion. That said, if you’ve seen mixed opinions, and you’re really uncomfortable with her there, I’m sure you could talk with her about it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3049 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I think the proper etiquette is to invite anyone who is involved with the wedding, family, close friends, and out of town guests. At least that’s what I’ve always heard. I think it would be nice for you to invite your officiate, especially if you know her. But like PP said, if there are mixed reviews about it, and you were hoping to not invite her, I would just do what you want. You have to make this clear to her either way though, she may think she’s invited, and even if she doesn’t get an invitation… people will be leaving directly from the rehearsal to the dinner… so she may somehow end up there if you don’t talk to her about it beforehand.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    For the actual rehearsal I know that it’s likely that our Pastor won’t be there but him and his wife will come to the dinner…. it’s just standard for our larger size church that they don’t go to the rehearsal (since it’s out of town) you don’t need the officiant to rehearse b/c really for the ceremony all you do is repeat what they tell you. Generally the rehearsal is more for “timing” of the bridal party, you, etc.

    Still I would invite them and leave that to your officiant.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Yes, definitely invite your minister!  She certainly won’t be offended by the invitation, and will probably be happy to be invited.

    You wouldn’t want your minister to be the only person from the rehearsal who wasn’t invited to the dinner afterwards.  That could potentially be awkward.  I think if the minister were just a JOP they’d turn down the dinner because it’s all just part of the job, but a minister of a church is someone you know on a slightly more personal level.

    Our priest came to the rehearsal dinner.  I actually invited him to the reception too, although he had to turn down the invitation because he had another wedding to do.

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