- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
This is a long one…
In college I had a best, best friend. We were closer than any other friendship either of us had ever had. We were also roommates our whole 4 years in college. We would often joke that we were “lesbian lovers” without the lover part of it- we are both completely straight – but that’s just how close of friends we were. After college, she moved back home to Orange County and I moved back to Los Angeles, only about 1 1/2 hours away from each other.
Since moving back home, I got my boyfriend (now fiance!), got a great job, and was satisfied living with my parents (although later moved out to an apartment). I had a few close friends from high school. My friend moved back in with her extremely strict parents, maintained a secret relationship with the boyfriend her parents disapproved of, had trouble finding a job, and did not really have anyone as support.
I tried to be there for her, often inviting her to stay with me for a weekend (to get away from her parents, etc), or for me to come visit her- but there was always an excuse or she would end up flaking. Needless to say, we lost most contact. She was going to attend my engagement party but ended up not coming. I was extremely upset with her because it was a big day for me and I really wanted her there.
I’ve written her countless emails offering my support to her. She admits to having changed but does not know what it is. We (my family and fiance) think there is a lot of jealousy towards me (although my life is never perfect!).
Since my engagement party a year ago, I have made a significant effort not to reach out to her as I can’t keep doing it without getting anything back- it really upsets me. I’ve been trying to “move on” from her but it feels like a break-up without any closure. Now that it is almost time to send out my invites, I’m not sure if I should invite her. My parents think I definitely should, my fiance and sister say no way. I’m completely split. I don’t want to regret later on not inviting her, as we were very close friends and I hope we can become close friends again in the future… but I don’t want to be waiting & thinking on my wedding day if she will show up or not.
Should I invite her?