Post # 1
Hi Bees, need your help!
Initmate wedding with 20 guests… Garden Ceremony and four course fine dining dinner reception…. ALL out of town guests, minimum of 400km travel for each guest…. Guest list includes 3 neices and nephews aged 3, 5 and 8 years. The three year old is particularly wild. I don’t know how they will fare at the reception, and we would like their parents (our siblings) to really enjoy themselves to the end, not having to leave due to bored or irratable children.
If our siblings werent out of town guests I wouldnt have invited the kids to the reception. However this is an impractical request.
What would you do? Have done?
1. Not invite the children at all (keep in mind children are very dear to us and family, never missing any other family event)
2. Invite children to ceremony only and offer a close by hired babysitter for the reception (keep in mind the money and logistics of this)
3. Invite children to ceremony and reception (keep in mind if my sis, FSIL & FBIL have to leave early it will leave a big hole at the reception with such few guests)
Post # 3
Most parents aren’t going to leave their children with a sitter they don’t know. Honestly, I think if your guests are out of town family, I’d invite the children. They may leave early anyways if their children are with a sitter.
Not inviting the children at all would make it VERY hard for out of town guests. Personally, even if the bride or groom was my sibling, I would decline because there would just be no way for me to leave my children with someone for several days or trust in a sitter I’ve never met.
Post # 4
@Notcool: I would provide a babysitter, but like pp said, some parents don’t like to leave their children with strangers, so maybe you could broach the subject.
Post # 5
I think i’ll ask both sets of parents what they would prefer and place the ball in their court.
Thanks for those who replied
Post # 6
We had approx 10 guests to our Maui DW- reception at fine dining restaurant in Wailea… all the reviews I found online after we booked said it’s not a restaurant recommended for children. I was worried because we had 3 kids in our group- my niece 22 month, my 7 year old nephew and my son who was 17 months old. It was definitely fine dining- my niece and nephew were perfect angels…my son cried and fussed (loudly!) when we got to the restaurant, all through our first dance (he ended up joining us for the last half of the dance to stop him crying) and he finally fell asleep during dinner. We hired a live musician (he was amazing!) and the music was at the perfect volume to drown my son’s crying out. I wouldn’t have changed anything about the dinner- we absolutely adore our son, niece and nephew- it wouldn’t have been the same without them not there. My son fussing will be a funny story we can tell him in a couple years. I think it will work out just fine if you have the kids. They will be outnumbered by adults, so you should be able to keep them in check! Good luck with your decision:)
Post # 7
Every wedding that I’m attended has been at a hotel, and a family 18 year old/young adults has been sacrificed with CASH and food to keep the kids. My event is is from 11 – 4, I’m paying cousin and family friend to take kids to the Aquirium and pizza
Post # 8
I agree that you should talk to the parents. If I were you I would say “you’re welcmoe to come to the reception with the children, but I thought about hiring a baby sitter so that you guys don’t have to leave early. what do you think?”
Post # 9
@aliciabw: This was a good point…
Pretty much every family wedding I attended once I turned 10… “Oh, Apple_Blossoms is here, you can watch the kids while I just go over here and get a drink with my friend!” Three hours later… Bitch, please, you are abusing me as a free baby-sitter and I am having negative fun.
Why they didn’t hire a baby-sitter to stay with their kids? I’d imagine it was because they didn’t trust anyone not in the family. Not an excuse.
So if you do end up not hiring a baby-sitter and the kids do come… Make sure you leave the parents responsible for them, and don’t let the kids get “pushed off” onto someone else.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t invite kids at all, but then again, I don’t like kids.