(Closed) Invite question: I think I have the opposite problem from most bees…..

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
16195 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m a little offended when I get invites to “Gemstone and Guest” when Fiance and I have been together for six years and are engaged.

Maybe if a friend RSVPs that they’re coming solo (SO can’t make it), you follow up with a phone call indicating that they’re welcome to bring another friend?

Post # 4
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t bother wording it a specific way on the invite.  For established couples, write both thier names or send separate invites if they don’t live together.  If one of them can’t make it, there should be enough time after they send back their RSVP to let them know that if one can’t come, the other is still allowed to bring a guest.  Just tell them verbally if the situation occurs. 

And FWIW, If my Fiance couldn’t come, I probably wouldn’t bring a different guest, especially if I already knew other friends who would be there.  I’d just hang out with the people I know.

Post # 5
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would definitely address it to the names of the people you know.  For friends that you don’t know who they’ll be bringing, I would say, “John Smith and Guest.” 

Post # 6
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would put their name for sure. Maybe you could put a little note or disclaimer at the bottom that says something about “if either of you is unable to attend we would be pleased to welcome an alternate guest in your honour to join us in celebrating our special day”. Or something. That’s kind of off the cusp – but you get the idea. 🙂

Post # 7
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I addressed the invites to the person at the residence (if they were engaged, both names were on the envelope) and then made sure it was clear on the RSVP that there were 2 seats reserved for them. 

Post # 9
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have done the same thing with my guest list, and just assumed that everyone would bring a date/guest/family. For couples I put both names, and I placed singular names on the invitation (for those who are single/and for co-workers that we do not know the spouses), but I allowed on the RSVP card for them to tell me how many people would be coming with them:


__Accepts with pleasure     __Declines with regret

Will be accompanied by ____ additional people

I thought that this was the best way to go about it, and I am sure that some will bring more than their fair share, some will come solo, and some will not be able to attend, so it should all balance out in the end.

Post # 10
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you know their name, PLEASE put it on there lol.  I am so offended that my fiance and have been engaged 8 months, everyone knows my name, and yet we will get an invitation that says “FI and Guest.”  It’s like they are insinuating we might not last the 6 months until their wedding or something.  Include the name, then if you hear they break up or can’t come, just let the person know they are welcome to bring someone else.

Post # 11
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have the same issue as you – since we are having a semi-DW (our families are in NJ and FL, respectively, and the wedding is in TN), I am just letting it be a free-for-all for +1’s. I figure, if someone wants to travel to such an unglamorous location for our wedding, they deserve to bring a friend!

I will just be addressing envelopes to a whole family/both sides of a couple and leaving the “# attending” space blank, then asking for names of people attending. We are having a pretty casual celebration so I am not overly concerned with formal etiquette rules.

Post # 13
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

just put their name on the invitation and if you are close to them, just tell them straight, say hey if you cant get make it and your partner can bring someone else! 


that’s what i did!



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