(Closed) Invite Recent Widow with +!?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would just address the invite to her name only.  FI’s aunt suddenly lost her husband a month ago and on the invitation, I just wrote her name.

Post # 4
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I invited a coworker of my mom’s that I know and gave her a +1 even though her husband passed away about 2-3 months ago. She is going to bring her daughter with and I have a few other widowed/divorced women that are bringing a friend since they don’t have a husband. I didn’t want them to feel alone and wanted to allow them to bring someone with to make them feel more comfortable.

ETA: I didn’t see that you wrote that she had younger children and it is an adult reception.

Post # 5
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@WindyCityWendy:  I think it depends on her role in the wedding.  If she will know a lot of people, I think it’s fine to invite her alone.  If she won’t, include a plus one.  What I would probably do is ask her about it and find out what will make her the most comfortable.  

Post # 6
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Who wants to attend a wedding alone, especially after they lost their husband?  I would give her a plus one.  You could always have +1 “optional” on her invite.

Post # 7
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ditto emlee, if you have it in your budget to give her a plus one, I would gently ask what she would prefer.

Post # 8
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Because you say she will know a lot of people there, I think it’s fine to put just her on the invitation. 

Post # 9
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly I would call her and ask her.  If she’s a friend, it would be way better to ask her directly (of course in a gentle manner, out of respect for her loss) than to try to guess what she would like to do, especially at an emotional time for her. When people are under deep emotional stress, they often lash out at unpredictable things– you really can’t go kick Death’s ass, so you just try to unleash the anger at some random occurence. Or they become extremely sad at things that the rest of us can’t imagine being upsetting till we’ve been in their shoes.

Would the +1 be seen as pushing her to find a date? Or would the lack of a second name on that invite be what breaks her heart a little bit more?  You won’t be able to guess right, so just be a friend and ask.

Post # 10
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would give her a +1. Attending big events like that on your own for the first time since a loss is really hard, and giving her the opportunity to bring someone with her may make it easier for her.

Post # 11
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My grandpa is a recent widower. I did not feel it was appropriate to add a +1, but that’s just me. 

Post # 12
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

As a widow, I agree with the advice to call her and ask her.

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