- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
My sister is my matron of honor – she’s my best friend and I love her to death. Problem is she’s married to a scumbag who I absolutely do not want at my wedding.
Her husband is extremely controlling/possesive and emotionally abusive. He has successfully isolated her from all her friends and attempted to isolate her from her family as well.
He flirts with other girls and has even put moves on me before!! (i.e. “Lisa that dress would look hot on you” and “Oh you got a sexy hair cut”). Tell me bees, has your SO ever told your friend/sister she would look HOT in a dress?!?? If my sister were to confront him about any of this he would blow up, say she’s blowing things out of proportion, and threaten to leave her and the kids, etc. She could never win a fight with him as he has the upper hand in the relationship.
Once, I brought my FI’s 6 year old son (who I love like my own son) to visit my sister and her husband yelled at the 6 yr old for touching his kid’s toys!!
A year ago Ellen (my sister) became very stressed so my mom started coming over once a week to help take care of her 2 kids (since her husband doesn’t help at all with the kids). Well, husband didn’t like this at all (he doesn’t like any “outside influences” on Ellen). So he started REALLY nitpicking random things that my mom did or didn’t do to get her to stop coming over. This ended up in a huge fight where he cursed at my mom and told her to get the F*CK out of his house and never come back.
My mom was enraged but devastated that should couldn’t see her grandkids. Since that fight (6 months ago) things have “cooled down” a bit and she started coming over again, but he never apologized and it still extremely tense.
I don’t know why, but Ellen is head over heels for this guy and blinded by love. (???)
So, here I am trying to decide what to do. I’m having a small intimate wedding of less than 50 people, only our very closest family and friends. It makes me sad to think my best friend in the world might not be a part of my wedding, but I absolutely do not want this scumbag to be there. (I mean, I’ll puke if he tells me how hot I look and tries to hug me – what would I do then?? yuck).
I have considered asking her not to bring him, but I know that she would be very hurt if I did and he would never let her go alone anyway. I’ve even considered lying to her that it’s a girls-only bridal shower and when she gets there, surprise! – it’s my wedding! (Obviously not realistic).
What do I do bees?