(Closed) Invite Students or Not?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you think I should invite my students?

    Yes, but you need to invite the whole family

    Yes, child +1 guest is ok

    No, avoid the hassle

    Other (please explain in comments)

  • Post # 17
    1675 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I work with students in various capacities, and I understand how you’re feeling. My vote – have an open ceremony, and invite students and/or their families, and don’t invite any of them to the reception. They get to share in the special day, but the cost factor isn’t included. Alternatively, have an “I”m getting married!” party, and plan a fun afternoon with your students.

    Post # 18
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    my 4th grade teacher invited us to her ceremony only, as some other posters mentioned above. we all went home before the reception. i remember car-pooling there, so not all the parents were invited. i still remember feeling so proud that we were invited, and still feel like a have a special connection with that teacher since we were there 🙂

    Post # 19
    5109 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Honeslty I think its so cute that you love these kids that much.. But I think thats a lot of kids at a wedding… Not to mention they wouldnt come along so when you include family thats a lot of extra money.. I like the idea of having a party for them or inviting to maybe just the church. but I think that will be so much extra stress for  you.

    Post # 20
    2260 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2020

    Oh  I really love the idea of the school “shower” so to speak.

    Post # 21
    2102 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    View original reply
    @Koala Bear: Me too. A school pizza party is so much cheaper and easier to plan. Plus, it’ll probably be more fun for your students that way.

    Post # 22
    3361 posts
    Sugar bee

    Skip it. 

    Besides the potential conflict of interest, I think putting KidsName + Guest, opens it up to not having enough supervision.  5 year olds may come with other 5 year old friends, and not the adults that you hoped.  I don’t think there is a way to make it mandatory that the guest is also a supervisor.

    And I don’t think it’s good to invite the whole family. I wouldn’t want to attend my sister’s teachers wedding reception.  You would have so many strangers, and what would happen if they have more then 4 family members?  Or if they have less, would they bring granny along?

    It can also appear to be looking for gifts, which is not your intentin, but some people will look for anything to pick on.  You are their superior/supervisor and parents may get funny about feeling you are slighting their child for not coming or bringing the ‘right’ gift.  For the record I don’t think that is your intention at all. 


    Post # 23
    244 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I know how you feel…I teach too, and since I work with underprivleged kids they get really attached. Why not throw a second party sometime after your honeymoon just for the kids? You and your husband could provide punch and cake and ask parents to donate cookies, etc.

    Post # 24
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Good question, I’ve been wondering about this myself. My favorite student is graduating in June and I’m getting married in October. She’s 19 and will still be at that time. I didn’t send her a save the date, just in case, but I’m really torn!

    Post # 25
    2271 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    Honestly, I think you would be opening a can of worms by inviting them. How about an awesome slide show and a party after you get back from the honeymoon?

    Post # 26
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    One of my close friends invited all her students to her ceremony but the school district wouldn’t allow her to invite them to reception (Thank God! It would have meant 200+ extra people.)  She felt so bad they would miss the reception that she had me make a separate cake which she and her husband cut and served them in the church social hall along with punch (After they finished their pics in the sanctuary.)  She also tossed a separate little bouquet there for the girls ($7 Micheals).  All the kids were thrilled and she felt better about the whole thing.  It wasn’t necessary but it made her and the kids happy.  My advice:do whatever makes YOU happiest.

    Post # 27
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I was invited to my theatre teachers wedding. A bunch of us went as a group and I really liked it. We had a good time, loved seeing her get married, and now she is invited to MY wedding. So, if you feel like you are close enough to your students, invite them!

    Post # 28
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Yikes!!  I work with kids too and I definitely would avoid inviting them as close as I am to some of the families. 

    You either do it right (invite their whole family) or don’t do it at all.  Adding 60 kids plus a guest is 120!  That’s A LOT of money.  Everything starts adding up.  =(

    Post # 29
    2050 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @BambeeBliss: I’m a theater teacher at a K-8 school, too, and know what you’re experiencing! I think the smartest thing you can do is have a “Celebrate the Teacher Getting Married” party with pizza and all at school and have an open ceremony the day of. You can prepare special theater themed/wedding favors for them after you take photos with them, then head off to your reception separately. This strikes a nice balance, allows them special time with you, and allows them to be part of the big day itself. (By the way, what was your most recent show? 🙂 I did Willy Wonka in the fall and we’re in the midst of Annie rehearsals now. Phew!)

    Post # 30
    10844 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    What about celebrating with your students in a different way? Maybe you guys could have a little shin dig of your own somehow? Recap party? Ode to weddings week?

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