Post # 1
My fiancee and I are not having kids at our wedding. There was a bit of pushback from his family, specifically his cousin who has three daughters (two 7 year olds and a 17 year old). We are considering inviting the 17 year old as she is almost an adult, but we’re worried it will cause WWIII in that house. Bees, would you invite her or just not invite all three?
Post # 3
If it’s going to create all kind of problems don’t invite her. No kids means no kids.
Post # 4
Well, my family has always done the “no young children” rule at weddings. I never knew people actually invited children until I attended friends weddings later on. Our rule was teenagers invited unless he/she is a known shithead and will cause trouble. But if that’s not the standard in their family, then I’d say to stick with the nothing under 18 rule.
Post # 5
It’s well known around the board that I don’t see the big deal with inviting kids. However ….. you should invite all or none. It would be different if she’s your god kid, or in the wedding ….
Post # 7
@Ali-oop: If you invite her I agree it’ll cause problems. Maybe she would end up babysitting for the cousin so they could come to the wedding. Just saying. Don’t invite.
Post # 8
No kids means no kids. We had a no one under 21 rule.
Post # 9
I would just not invite all three.
Post # 10
Set a strict age limit and go by it. Maybe say if you’re 17 by the wedding date, you can come. But you have to hold everyone to the same standard. http://weddings.gatheringguide.com/ac/wedding-etiquette/are-you-kidding-inviting-children-to-your-wedding-or-not has a pretty good list of excuses… including that your venue rules won’t allow kids under a certain age (make sure the venue goes along with it if anyone asks).
Post # 11
To avoid issues, just make it a specific age cut off – 18 is an easy age to pick. Under 18, you’re not extended an invite.
Post # 12
It depends. In my family there’s no way we wouldn’t invite someone who is 17. The point of the no kids rule is to avoid disruptions. By not inviting someone who won’t disrupt you’re just telling them that they aren’t a valued part of your family.
I think the best cut off age is 12. That way they are old enough to behave, understand what is happening, why, and be able to celebrate and be happy for the couple.
Weddings aren’t nightclubs. You don’t have to show ID to get in. It’s about family and coming together and celebrating. A 17 year old is old enough for that.
Post # 13
@MariContrary: hahaha I laughed very hard at your family rule 🙂