(Closed) Invite the best man's girlfriend

posted 3 years ago in Guests
  • poll: Should we invite her?
    YES : (38 votes)
    58 %
    NO : (27 votes)
    42 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    434 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Ugh this is a tough one and I definitely feel for you.  The bigger question is would you rather have your Brother-In-Law there or her not there.  That kind of will answer if for you.

    also I know you want to avoid the drama but the fact is not inviting her proabbably will cause more drama than it’s worth.  Just invite her and if your Brother-In-Law is going to be a jerk then it sounds like your brother is willing to step in which is awesome.  family can be such a pain!

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  wedbee0904.
    Post # 32
    Member
    329 posts
    Helper bee

    I would invite her to the wedding too and having your brother as a backup groomsmen, while annoying, is a good idea. 

    The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. Be indifferent to her. She comes, sure. She doesn’t come, sure. If your brother-in-law suddenly wants to go play drama-llama with his girlfriend, sure. Your brother can step in while he takes care of whatever it is. In fact, keep taking care of it far far away. 

    It’s pretty tacky to arrive at a party two hours late, ignore the hosts, and then go whine about the party on social media. Sure it’s pretty frustrating and annoying, but it’s immature on her part. 

    If you don’t invite her, you’re feeding into her story about how much of a victim she is. If you do invite her, she’ll be annoying, but that’s on her. As another PP said, have someone you trust to run interference. Don’t like some crazy immature woman ruin your day. Let her make a fool of herself if that’s what she wants to do.  

    Good luck! :S Hope it works out!

    Post # 33
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    If is your day and you should not have to be worrying about whether or not this girl will cause drama. If I were in your shoes, I would tell your brother in law that he is not to bring his gf, and if for this reason, he chose not to be part of the wedding, so be it. Your in laws will probably be mad, but they’ll get over it. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    728 posts
    Busy bee

    I would not want someone as the best man or Maid/Matron of Honor who would let their SO treat family like that. It says a lot more about your Future Brother-In-Law than his Girlfriend. I would stand your ground and say he can’t come of he brings her. End of discussion.

    Post # 35
    Member
    2554 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I vote secret option #3, don’t marry into this shit show unless you have assurances you’ll be cutting these psychos out.

    Hated you since day one? That is ice cold. I am so sorry you have to interact with these people.

    Post # 36
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee

    annaven: I think what the Future Brother-In-Law meant by that is that he thinks family means nothing to the groom.

    Post # 37
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    These people seem crazy.  Your life sounds like it would be sweeter without them in it.  I would back far away and let your Fiance deal with them…forever. 

    You don’t need to interact with a lady who has hated you “from day 1.” What a b.  The girlfriend also irrationally hates you, and life’s too short for that crap.  Nothing you do will make it better.  Save your sanity, and don’t even try.

    If your Fiance has a problem with you pulling back for your emotional health, or won’t stand up to his family for you, then there’s your real problem.  Good luck, and god bless.

    Post # 38
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m all-for etiquitte, up until someone becomes abusive. You said that the messages she’s sent you and the things she’s said to you and about you are abusive. Etiquitte goes out the window when people are being abusive. Don’t invite her, or him for that matter, as long as your fiance is ok with it. 

    Frankly, with in laws like this, I would have eloped.

    Post # 39
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee

    Sukii:  oh sorry, you are right. I read it fast and I didn’t get it

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