Post # 1
So, our invites are due here in a couple of days, so we’re working on gathering up the addresses, etc. for final review. I have a question – do you invite your co-workers?
I work in a very small office – about 10 people. One of my co-workers and I have become out of work friends, not super close, but enough that we go out to dinner with the SOs, shopping, etc. So I’ll definitely invite her. But what about the other co-workers and the two co-owners? Some I don’t talk to much, there’s one my friend and I go out to lunch with often. Another and I were close back when we were the only two employees, but really aren’t now.
I’ve worked with this company since 2003, so I’ve known the people for many years. I’m not sure what to do. Fiance isn’t inviting any of his co-workers, since he’s leaving his position at the end of the semester, which is before the wedding.
Our wedding is also about 2 hours north of where we live and work, so I’m not sure if I should invite them due to that, too…
Anyone in a similiar situation? Thoughts?
Post # 3
I’m not in a similar situation. I’m not inviting anyone from work. I’d only invite someone from work if I was friends with them outside of work, like the friend you mentioned that you hang out with.
But if you have the funds and if you would enjoy having them all at your wedding, it can’t hurt to invite them. They’re not obligated to come just because you invite them, so I wouldn’t worry about the fact that they would have to travel.
Post # 4
well luckily i quit my job a couple of months ago, so i don’t have to worry about that. however, my Fiance works alongside a lot of other people and he is super social, so we were worried about what to do there. we decided to only invite the ones he is closest to which ended up being about 5 and he advised them to keep it on the DL because he was not inviting people besides them from work. it has worked out well, no one has harassed him about it even if they are mad 🙂
Post # 5
I say if you have the means to invite them, then do it! I’m not inviting anyone from work because I do not like any of them lol. But if I worked in a smaller office with people that I got along with, I think I would 🙂
Post # 6
I am planning to invite a few coworkers I socialize with outside of work. The others who I don’t share my personal life with I don’t feel obligated to invite. I just work with them they aren’t part of my life.
Post # 7
Do you think the co-workers would be offended? If so, I’d invite them. If they’d be understanding that weddings are expensive and you’re not close friends then I think it’s okay not to invite them. I am inviting my office mates and boss; Fiance is inviting most of his colleagues, but not the ones he hardly talks to.
Post # 8
I am in a similar situation, but I’m a teacher so I have about 50 co-workers! My mom got me a few etiquette books when I first got engaged. In this book, it said if you work in a small office, then you should invite everyone you work with even if you don’t expect them to come. It’s a very difficult situation because I’m sure you don’t want to offend anyone you work with. I am one of 5 reading teachers in my building, so I have decided to only invite the other reading teachers and my principal. I would suggest sending an invitation to all of them just so no one gets their feelings hurt.
Post # 9
That would be a significant addition to a guest list because you’d have to invite their significant others as well if they’re married. The way I did it was I invited no one but my very closest friend at work…who is more of a friend than a coworker. Everyone understood. The problem is when you start to invite more than 1-2 obvious choices…especially in a small company, I’m assuming people would feel left out.
Post # 10
I just chose a couple of people that I am closest with, it isn’t realistic to invite 40+ people and their spouses from work.
Post # 11
I have been working in the same branch for nearly 5 years. Over time, a lot of people have come and gone, but many have been my co-workers the entire time. There are new employees with whom I have become friends with very recently, and longer-tenured employees with whom I am only colleagues. I was very unsure as to how I could pick and choose politely and secretly.
Solution: I didn’t immediately send save the dates to any of my co-workers. There is one with whom I am the closest, and she recently transferred branches. The minute she moved, I sent her a save-the-date. A newer employee and I recently became friend-friends – I sent her one too. I will send the other 4 over the next 3-4 weeks. I figure since the bulk of my co-workers are NOT invited, they won’t feel left out, and we are trickling the save the dates so there isn’t a big to-do about them.
Post # 12
My other concern about inviting office people is that it will turn into an office party. I am having a small wedding and inviting coworkers, and they bring a guest, they could out number my family and friends. I try to limit my talk about wedding planning at work as not to build expections.
Post # 13
I work in a very small office too and I had a lot of trouble trying to figure out this question. The whole office is myself, two full-time guys, my boss, and a part-time lady. I felt obligated to invite my coworkers (mostly because they have been listening to wedding venting for a year now) and my mom was insisting that I invite my boss. So I just decided to go for it and now I am happy that I did. I handed out invites last Friday and they all seemed genuinely happy to have been included.