(Closed) invite wording for honeymoon fund….

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@springwed8:  I cannot believe I am writing this, as I despise this notion that newlyweds are sufficiently entitled to expect gifts that they can shamelessly tell their guests what gifts they want, but I love the fact that you have enough good taste to recognize that long rhyming circumlocutions do not improve the situation in the least.

So.

On a traditional invitation to any formal event, the invitation proper goes in the centre of the card:

“Ms Spring Wed
requests the pleasure of the company of
Mr and Mrs Guest
at her wedding to
Mr Handsome Guy
at First Baptist Church
on Saturday the first of September
at two o’clock
with reception to follow at Main Street Legion Hall
at half after six o’clock”

Additional information and instructions go in the lower right and left corners. For example in the left corner (nowadays), 

“The favour of a reply is requested
1-800-555-1234 or
http://www.weddingwebsite.rsvp

and in the right corner, explanations about dress code and whether there will be dancing or will not be supper or other extraneous information, such as:

“In honour of Miss Famous Author
Black Tie”

So if you want to be discreet and formal without giving up on your plans for a guest-funded honeymoon, why not simply put the link to your honeyfund website, or a simple statement, down in the right corner:

“Semi-formal dress requested
gifts requested via http://www.honefund.link

 

Now I am going to go slap my own wrist, and wonder what I am going to say when one of my awful nephews asks my advice on how to belch politely in public.

Post # 4
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@aspasia475:  I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS, ASPASIA!!!!!!

(Sorry for shouting, I was momentarily overcome. I shall return to behaving decorously in short order.)

Post # 5
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@aspasia475:  Honestly I felt the same way!  I am pretty against asking for or expecting gifts in any way.  That’s just me.  But for some reason something about this post made me want to think up a reasonable and thoughtful answer.  Right on OP!!  

This above suggestion is great I think.
Maybe our minds are expanding?!

Post # 6
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It is generally considered rude to put registry information on a wedding invitation. Instead, consider making a wedding website with information about the event, and you can include a link to your honeymoon registry in the “Registries” section. Also, some honeymoon registry websites have wording suggestions (I know travelersjoy.com lets you view other registries to get wording ideas.)

Post # 7
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@springwed8:  I know you are asking about wording but I just wanted to tell you that when I receive a wedding invitation that mentions gifts of any sort (money, registries, gift cards ect) I think it is incredibly tacky. Of course I always bring a gift (and I usually ask the bride or a family member what the couple would like to receive) but I do not feel that this should be on an invitation at all. However, I do realize that if you do not put it on then you might get gifts when you seem to want cash. I just told word of mouth through our parents and bridal party that we would prefer cash and almost everyone did this anyway without having to write it anywhere.

Post # 8
Member
576 posts
Busy bee

I second previous 2 posts above me. Typically registry stuff is left off the wedding invitation, for etiquette reasons. My registry info was spread predominately through word of mouth, but my Maid/Matron of Honor did put a little blurb on my shower invitation, which is considered ok.

Post # 11
Member
3141 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We know it’s not traditional

It’s not the way it’s done

But instead of a wedding list

We’d like a bit of sun.

Please do not think of us as rude

Please do not take offence

We do not want to upset you

That’s not the way it’s meant.

We’ve lived together quite a while

And all the bills are paid

We’ve got our plates, our pots and pans

Our plans have all been made.

So if you’d like to give a gift

To help us celebrate

Some money for a honeymoon

We would appreciate

 

This is the poem we used and everyone LOVED it!!! Lots of compliments. We put it on our wedding website that was included in the invitations. We only told people if they asked if we were registered anywhere, when they asked we sent them the poem. We registered at flight center too if people didn’t want to give cash this provides an option. I agree registry info should not be included in the invite but can be provided when people ask or put on your website 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

On ours it will say:

“Please do not feel obligated to buy us a gift – we really appreciate you using annual leave and travelling to Brighton for our wedding. However, for those who have asked, we have created a gift registry for our honeymoon to Walt Disney World at: http://www.honeyfund.com/blablabla

ETA: it’s really strange, but here in the UK you are expected to have a gift registry and if you don’t it’s considered quite rude because how on earth are the guests supposed to get you something you genuinely want or need? there’s an assumption that everyone has a gift list here and no one is ever offended.

Post # 14
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

@springwed8:  haha, i think we’re definitely a bit more lax about etiquette over here.

i find it funny that in the USA it’s rude to ask for gifts, but not rude to ask BM’s to pay for their dresses/makeup etc?

each country to their own I guess!

Post # 15
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@lookingglass:  I agree with you. I’m in  the US and don’t understand how the hell we’re supposed to know what to get the couple if we don’t know where they’re registered. If you read a lot of the comments on this forum in general, it’s like you’re supposed to register, but keep it totally secret and hope that SOMEONE will find where you’re registered, and then if they don’t bring you a gift, they’re rude. Doesn’t make any sense to me. 

FWIW, our registry is on our wedding website. No mention on or in with the invitations, just a page on our website with a link to where we’re registered. I’ve also told a few people who have asked already.

Post # 16
Member
9667 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@lookingglass:  yeah lol. here i think most brides count the bridesmaid dresses, etc into their budget so BMs don’t really have to pay for them. i agree that word of mouth about gifts is best though

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