(Closed) Invite wording crisis. Please help!

posted 6 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

This is really tricky…. I guess my impression is that if there are parents that are paying a significant portion (esp 50%) that etiquette dictates their names appear on the invitaiton, somewhere. I understand your FI’s stance that it is your wedding, and you should be able to do things the way you want them. However, I think that in the grand scheme of things, it’s 4 words. Should 4 words really be the focus of contention when there are 80 million other things in a wedding? 

Post # 4
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

To be honest, if your mom is helping pay, it would be kind of rude to leave her off the invitation, unless you word it like “You are invited to” rather than “so and so invites you”. We’re doing it the first way, because we weren’t sure who (if anyone) was going to help us pay, and this is neutral. I don’t see any reason to  make people feel bad, so if the Fiance insists on leaving off her name, I’d say leave yours off, also.

Post # 5
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

The “together with their parents” still goes in tiny print under your guys’ large names across the top.. I honestly don’t see why it’s a big deal to him. It’d be a different story if your guys’ parents were across the top, then I could see him wanting to change it. To me, it just acknowledges your parents as supporting the marriage, not necessarily that they are paying for it or inviting the guests.

Post # 6
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m not sure why this is such a big deal. She’s paying for the wedding, so you should put her on the invite. Any reason that you’re Fiance is being so unreasonable about this? Not having your mom’s presence and financial help at your wedding doesn’t seem worth “winning” on such a trivial issue.

Post # 7
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My friends are paying for their entire wedding, and included “together with their families”. 

HOw come your Fiance is so against it?

Post # 8
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would push back and insist that it be included.

Post # 9
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Your Fiance needs to grow up and acknowledge the contribution your mother is making toward your wedding.

Post # 11
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@TinaBina0729:  I think you need to figure out why he is SO against her help and including her on the invite.

Your Fiance is in the wrong here and I can understand why your mom would be so hurt by this. It’s almost like he’s spitting in her face saying “If we have to acknowledge you gave us money, then we don’t want it. Your money isn’t good enough to deserve recognition.”

I think you need to have a long talk with your Fiance about this as well as with your mom. I’d be pretty hurt if I were her.

Post # 12
Member
5763 posts
Bee Keeper

The ‘issue’ I see you having is that he has no problem having other people pay for ‘his wedding’ but he doesn’t want to acknowledge them on the invitations? If that’s how he feels, he should also have no problem in paying for everything himself and not accepting any handouts at all. Afterall…it IS his wedding!

Post # 13
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It seems like an overreaction for your mother to threaten not to come based on the wedding invite wording. I agree w/ your Fiance that it’s your wedding and your invitation, but if your mother is helping financially it’s understandable for her to want to be acknowledged. 

Post # 14
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’d probably ask my parents about it too. I know my parents wouldn’t care either way if we mention them on the invites (and they are paying for a significant portion of our wedding). I’d just check in with everyone to see how they’re feeling!

Post # 15
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@TinaBina0729:  Ok, I mean, I don’t think any of us are trying to pry, but there seems to be something else going on here. It might be helpful for you to share some of the context in your FI’s principles. Your Fiance and your Mom, like it or not, are going to have a common bond the rest of everyone’s lives. Do you really want to look back on this experience as is? Might it be in everyone’s best interest to sort out the issues ahead of time?

Post # 16
Member
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

How about like …. brides name…daughter of so and so…and  grooms name, son of so and so invite you to celebrate their wedding

The topic ‘Invite wording crisis. Please help!’ is closed to new replies.

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