(Closed) Invite wording when you have 2 sets of parents

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You could take a graphic cue from some cultural invitation styles. Some cultures, including Filipino and Cambodian, create two columns of names on the invitations. You could center your name, then on the next line put "Daughter of" and list one set of parents on the right and the other on the left.

Post # 4
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Hi, we had the same issue with my parents. So what I did was sent them three different options and let them choose what they felt comfortable with. In my case it was my mom and my dad and step mom.

They chose to put my mom first and then them. So our wording looked like this

Ms. Mom and Mr. and Mrs. Dad request….

 

Post # 5
Member
5 posts
Newbee

I ran into a similar problem, but my parents are paying equal.  I decided to follow etiquette and listed it as follows:

Mr. and Mrs. Stepfather and Mom Lastname

Mr. Dad

Request the honor…

Bride

Groom

Son of

Mr. and Mrs. Groom

 

I wanted my dad listed first, but everywhere I looked, the mother is always listed first.  I told my dad if he could find it somewhere that the dad is listed first I would go with it.  I just wanted rules to follow so that I didn’t have to make the decision.  And I put my return address and am having the RSVP’s sent to me, so it is fair to both of them.

And of course, people will say that the invite is not the place for letting people know who pays for what, but I agree parents can easily be upset. 

 And lastly their is always: together with our parents…  and then you avoid it all.

 Hope that helps!

Post # 6
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Agreed with pp – "Together with their parents…" sounds like the best option at this point.

Post # 7
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

 
 
How about a super simple "Please join us in celebrating our wedding – John doe and Jane smith, 1.1. 2009" etc.
 
I know it’s not the most formal, but it’s really about celebrating the wedding and not who’s-against-whom… And it’ll focus on you rather than which parent is more prominently figured. 

Post # 8
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We’re paying for most of it ourselves, but all parents are contributing some.  To keep it simple, we’re using "together with their parents" for our invite text.  It is also easier to work from a design standpoint – less text. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I agree with "together with their parents"  We said "together with their families" so that’s another option.  Keep it simple!

Post # 10
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Together with their parents – or families – is a nice option, and sometimes the only reasonable option if people get up in arms about it.  You could also put one set of parents as hosting the actual wedding, the other (probably the ones who are paying more) as hosting the reception – easy if you have a separate reception card.  In that case you would say:

Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Dad
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter…

And on a separate reception card:

Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Stepdad
request the pleasure of your company
for a dinner reception…  (place and time) or
immediately following the ceremony…

In the case of a 90/10 split on cost, this would seem quite fair to me.

Post # 11
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Similar issue but with slightly less animosity: All the parents are contributing a wee bit and we’re paying for most.  We want the invitation to reflect that this was a family affair that everyone contributed to. I origianlly wanted to go with "together with their parents," but considering that our families are not familiar with many of our friends and vice versa we thought it might be helpful to tip folks off to the family situation So we’re doing:

 

Together with their parents,

Ms. Mom

Mr & Mrs. Dad

Mr & Mrs. In-Laws

MizK & MrK

request the pleasure of your company… 

Post # 12
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am in a similar situation in so far as my mom & stepfather and dad & stepmother will all be contributing, as well as my FH and I. I am kind of traditional in very few regards but invitation wording is one. I will be opting for something along the lines of:

Mr. and Mrs. Stepfather & Mom

and

Mr. and Mrs. Dad & Stepmother

to open the invitation and opting out of "together with their families." Then I will list our names, but I am opting not to include my FH’s parents’ names (as in "son of Mr & Mrs. Groom’s Parents) as they are not contributing money, creativity, or manpower hours and therefore it seems like it would be taking away from what my parents are contributing in money and effort to include them on the invitation.

Post # 13
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

If your SF truly doesn’t care about his name (what a nice man), why don’t say…

 

Together with their Families…

 Bride to Be

and

Groom to be

invite you to come party at the wedding her SF paid for and isn’t getting enough credit for because he’s a nice guy. 🙂

Ok, maybe not that exact wording, but I like the "together with their families" line.

 

Good Luck. 

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