@nixietink: Actually, etiquette does not require that your parents’ names be on the invitation, and etiquette is appalled by the notion that your invitations should advertise who is paying for what. Polite people always keep their financial affairs private.
The name that goes at the top of the invitation is that of the hostess –and her husband, if she has one. The hostess is the person who takes all personal responsibility for the comfort, safety, and entertainment of the guests under her (usually rented) roof. Her decisions include things like choosing the menu, the venue, the decor, and the wording of the invitations; her responsibilities include making the arrangements with vendors and ensuring that they will be paid, but she can quietly arrange for others to make the actual payments — with a very big private thank you to the payer — or she can pay with money that she has received as a gift.
So, here is the question: did your dad offer to host the wedding? If so, the decision is his, and so are any cost overruns, and the hair of dealing with vendors, and the decision about the style. Not the decisions about your dress or your wedding party’s clothes: adults can choose how to dress themselves andaway for their own dressing. Not the cost of the officiant and the fee for the ceremony venue — that part is not actually whatis being hosted. When those costs are removed, is Dad perhaps covering the whole party? If so, it is his say-so, and he is quite right to claim the role of host, but he needs to belly up to the bar (or his wife does) and start taking on the primaresponsibilities of a host as well as just paying.
Alas, wedding arrangements are usually a mishmash of unclear roles. Maybe your Dad offered to host thewedding on the condition that you would do the running-around and chip in half the costs. In that case he’s still the host, and he still has the final say. Or maybe he offered you a gift of money conditional on having the privilege of meddling in your arrangements and getting the credit even though all the responsibly is still yours. In that case, you can decide whether to fulfill the conditions and get the gift, or not fulfill the conditions and find the money elsewhere.
Assuming that you want to fulfill the conditions of the gift and keep your fun upbeat invitation, change the wording to:
Mr and Mrs Dad Wantsthecredit request your presence as
Nixietink and Mr Nixtink
Invite you to share in the joy
Of their wedding day
You might have to reduce the font size a little on the first line to squeeze in the extra words, but that just helps to downplay Dad’s self aggrandizement and intentional exclusion of your in-laws.