(Closed) Invited them to our engagement, no invite to their wedding. What next?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Regardless of whether you’re invited to their wedding, ask yourselves: Do you want them to come to yours? It sounds like you both want that circle of friends included in your celebrations, so I wouldn’t exclude her.

Post # 4
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Don’t exclude her just because she didn’t invite you. Maybe her circumstances won’t allow for everyone? Planning a wedding yourself you know the costs and sometimes restrictions that arise, and it’s possible she wasn’t trying to make a statement by not inviting you. Weddings aren’t a “you only get an invite if you invited us” thing.

Post # 5
Member
8363 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@laurn88:  <– what she said.

Their wedding/engagement their invite list!

Post # 6
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@laurn88:  ditto. Maybe they couldn’t afford to invite everyone they wanted to and had to make some tough choices to cut their guest list.

Post # 7
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Do you and fi want her there ? Or has the friendship run it’s course? 

 

Post # 9
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@blinx:  Also, I wasn’t trying to be snarky, I feel it came off that way. I was just saying to be a little understanding, I’ve been in that position only to find out our friends could only afford to invite family.

Post # 10
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Weddings aren’t tit for tat, if you want her there invite her, if not then don’t. However, generally anybody invited to any pre wedding parties need to be invited to the wedding. Also, you said you are ab to send out your invites? If your wedding date is correct (late October) I would wait until late August to send them, its way too early right now.

Post # 11
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

sounds like you were going to invite them until you found out they were possibley not going to invite you….  So why not send them if you were already planning on inviting them?

Post # 12
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you invited them to the engagement party, you need to invite them to the wedding.

Post # 13
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I would say, until you find out otherwise, assume the best and not the worst: assume that they wanted (and maybe still want) to invite you but they are working with budget constraints, you might be at the very top of their B-group invites and as soon as a family member declines you will be invited, etc. You really don’t know what kind of pressure Sara is under from what direction(s) while they are planning – Lord knows, from reading the Bee, any given bride out there could be juggling all kinds of craziness. The best way to react is to tell yourself, “I’m sure she wanted to invite us and some circumstances prevented it.” I know there are people on my B list whom I may not have space to include, and I’m hoping they adopt the same attitude towards us about it.

Post # 15
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It sounds like you aren’t the only ones from the group not invited, so I wouldn’t take it personally. I think if you have it within the budget you should invite them! They may take offense if you invite everyone in the group *but* them. It seems like maybe they are on a tight budget and just couldn’t afford to invite the entire clan.

Post # 16
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Since they’re inviting half the group of friends, sounds like they’ll be having a smaller budget/wedding than you. If you want them at your wedding, invite them. We’re inviting a couple who didn’t invite us to their wedding- they had about 50 people, and a very small group of friends. I wasn’t offended, and it didn’t keep them off our guest list.

The topic ‘Invited them to our engagement, no invite to their wedding. What next?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors