Post # 1
I’ve been invited as a +1 to my boyfriend’s friend’s wedding at 5:30 pm. However he mentioned that “no dinner will be provided to save costs.” I don’t know how many people will be coming from out of town. Luckily it’s only about a 30 minute drive for me, but still…that strikes me as pretty rude. Are my expectations too high? Given how expensive weddings are these days, is it considered acceptable to not serve a meal at a wedding at that time, etiquette-wise? I don’t know yet about whether they will be serving appetizers/hors d’oeuvres, or whether there will be an open bar.
Post # 2
Wait, was “no dinner will be provided to save costs” noted on the invite? Oh god I hope so, because that just makes this even better.
I can probably bet you all the money in the world that if they aren’t serving a meal to “save on costs” that they will most likely have a cash bar and probably just cheese and crackers for the duration of the reception.
This wedding will probably be extrememly short since everyone will want to leave to go and get a meal. If I were you I would make a reservation at a nice restaurant for 7pm and duck out of the wedding early.
Post # 3
raspberrybidet: If you are entertaining guests over the hours when a meal would traditionally be served, you need to serve one, period.
If you can’t afford dinner, plan an alternative time for your wedding and serve refreshments that you can afford; brunch, lunch, cake and punch etc.
Post # 4
I’ve heard of weddings with heavy appetizers at 5:30pm. I’ve only heard of “cake and punch” being at like, 2pm, but I don’t really see a problem wtih having a wedding at 5:30, toasting the couple at 6:15, and being done by 6:30-7pm.
TBH, I don’t see as big of a problem since they did the right thing and informed guests about it so that people would know to make their own plans. Maybe they couldnt’ get the ceremony site until that time or something. And if people are so put out by not receiving a meal or if they feel the time is inappropriate, then they can decline.
Post # 5
Well….I sure hope they don’t have an open bar when they aren’t providing food!
This may be another area/culture thing…but I personally find this rude. You just don’t host a party, expect wedding gifts, and not give your guests something to eat for dinner. That’s just poor taste.
Post # 6
raspberrybidet: Man, even events that aren’t over typical mealtimes should have some kind of refreshment. Even piano recitals as a kid had lemonade and cookies afterwards.
I second a PP–make dinner reservations and leave early. I hope they didn’t plan a typical 4-6 hour reception without enough food for a meal for their guests, no one’s going to stick around long enough for their exit.
Post # 7
So rude. If you want to skip dinner to save costs (totally understandable!) you need to not have your wedding at a meal time!
Post # 8
raspberrybidet: i went to my friends wedding that started at like 2 and had some cheesy apps. i was kind of pissed. i was so hungry. we went to the bars after i got a burger at like 10pm. if they have heavy apps then its totally acceptable.
Post # 9
raspberrybidet: Guests comfort should take precident over an expensive dress, flowers, decorations etc etc. Are they serving alcohol and not serving food, cuz people are going to be hangry and wasted.
When will people learn, IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT, DON’T HOST IT.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t go. Sounds like a janky affair. I bet anything she’s got an expensive dress and flowers and decor, etc.
Post # 11
I think if you are going to have a dinner time wedding.. such as 5:30.. than at least serve something. if you are planning on cutting the dinner, at least have it at a decent time such as after dinner.. maybe 7..8? which would give people a chance to eat? i went to a wedding that had no dinner before. i left within an hour.. along with about 1/2 the wedding.. people with kids, or people who didnt know there was a dinner are obviously going to be hungry i just don’t understand the thought process on this really
Post # 12
hmmm. I don’t know if it’s rude, but it sure strikes me as super strange. If you don’t have a big budget there are so many alternatives. (Like PP said) Or totally pare back the guest list. (no idea which relationship OP’s boyfriend has to the couple. raspberrybidet is your boyfriends a super close friend or relative?)
(also about the “no dinner will be provided to save costs.” that is probably just translated into manspeak and I am thinking the original explanation was a lot more thoughtful 😉 )
Post # 13
I’ve attended weddings of friends where only apps were served. One had a lot of apps, which was fine, and the other did not have very many. They were both 6pm receptions times, where the “meal” started right away.
I know the one couple with a lot of apps was trying to cut costs, and the other… who knows. The latter did end up bringing some food out later, so you had something to soak in the booze.
Even our dinner didn’t start until 7pm (after an hour long social hour), and we fed everyone a plated meal.
Post # 14
“To save costs”. Um, no. Cut costs elsewhere. You can at least have a bunch of burgers and hotdogs or order pizza. I don’t invite people to my house without offering food, let alone a wedding where guests are expected to travel and bring a gift. If they can’t afford food at their wedding, they shouldn’t be having a reception. Just elope.
I’d probably leave after the ceremony and go get dinner somewhere.
Post # 15
raspberrybidet: It’s fine to skip a sit-down dinner as long as food is being served (we did very heavy passed apps but it was more than enough to fill you up as much as a plated dinner would have), but this sounds like they aren’t going to feed you at all! definitely rude to not feed you anything…