(Closed) Invited to a 5:30 pm wedding but no dinner will be served. Rude or OK?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it acceptable for a 5:30 PM wedding to not include dinner?
    Yes, it's fine. Weddings are expensive. : (59 votes)
    11 %
    No, that is terrible! Cheap! : (490 votes)
    89 %
  • Post # 181
    Member
    1635 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    Oh, your update actually makes it worse than I thought! I have no problem with a cake and champagne reception or cocktail reception- at the appropriate times (and, I think this is more common in some ares than others), but I do have a problem with a tiered list where some people are given dinner and others are told to grab dinner on their own and come to the reception after. Yikes! Good luck!

    Post # 182
    Member
    1455 posts
    Bumble bee

    Omg I feel like I literally need to go put on pearls so I can unironically clutch them. This is one of the rudest/tackiest things I’ve ever heard! Please update us after the wedding!!

    Post # 183
    Member
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Hahah. I’m so shocked. But finding this to be hilarious. Probably because I’m not actually involved. thank you for the update! I would have said the timing was a bit rude anyway-but this is so strange. Though I appreciate what you said about her personality. Maybe it makes sense in her world and it’s good to just have a sense of humor about it.  

    Post # 184
    Member
    35 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    [content moderated for violation of TOS]

    Post # 185
    Member
    35 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    [content moderated for snark]

    Post # 186
    Member
    1987 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Well-hosted cake and punch receptions are lovely and do not deserve to be called “CHEAPO” and there is nothing wrong with having an inexpensive or informal wedding.

    I have a thousand times more respect for people who appropriately host those types of events than I do for people who try to have a fancy wedding and end up shortchanging their guests in the process.  After all, isn’t that sort of shortchanging exactly what this couple from the OP, who are to rudeness what a mustache-twirling criminal is to villainy, are doing?

    Post # 187
    Member
    728 posts
    Busy bee

    suzymuffin25:  or have the wedding I want to have since it’s my wedding and I’m paying for it. This was like a month ago and I’m not getting into another argument with strangers over the cash bar/open bar/no bar thing. Good thing you’re not invited to my wedding so you don’t have to worry if it’s “cheap” 

    Post # 188
    Member
    11467 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    If you’re lecturing people on manners you might want to show some yourself. One of the biggest lessons in manners is not to call out the social faux pas of others. (Not the same thing as weighing in with respect on a debate, obvi.)

    if you insist on doing it, try not being a hypocrite by insulting someone’s wedding by calling it “cheap”. 

    Post # 189
    Member
    463 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I haven’t read all of the comments, but I’ve read enough. I personally wouldn’t do this, but I also think that if they give everyone notice, it gives people a chance to eat before they go, so what’s the big deal? No one is forcing any of you to bring a gift to weddings. Don’t like that they aren’t feeding you, don’t bring a gift. I think when it comes to etiquette, people can be SO rude in the comments. People comment from their high horses, with their noses in the air like they cant fathom how someone would have a wedding without providing a meal and free drinks. Get over yourselves. If they want to have a wedding with no meal it’s their decision. The people who are going to actually celebrate the joy of their marriage and who love them will go, anyone else should just stay home and order a $30 pp take out to eat in front of Netflix instead. There’s your fancy meal, and some entertainment too, because I bet most of you think this couple is too cheap to have music. None of us know anything about this couple, their situation, or their wedding. At the end of the day, even if 400 strangers online think it’s “rude” you have to make the decision to go or not. 

    Post # 190
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    OMG I can’t wait to hear how the wedding went.  I hope there are some B-listers left so you can tell us about how the logistics went down.  Like, do they tell the servers to not serve specific tables??  How are you supposed to just sit there twiddling your thumbs while tables of other people are eating dinner??  Wow, they really didn’t think that through.  

    Post # 191
    Member
    35 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    [content moderated for snark]

    Post # 192
    Member
    35 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I would send her a B List gift with a similiar comment. Tell her she might have gotten an “A List gift had you been placed on the “A list Guest List”. the situations on the wedidng board are beyond tacky. We as a society accept anything crass and tasteless. Good for the folks who refused to attend.

    raspberrybidet:  

    Post # 194
    Member
    325 posts
    Helper bee

    Omg. Just read this thread. Absolutely need an update on how it went down!

    Post # 195
    Member
    728 posts
    Busy bee

    suzymuffin25:  since what’s “right” for a wedding is a subjective term I am doing it right for us and what we want. Hope it doesn’t rain on your wedding day you might drown with that nose so high in the air.

    The topic ‘Invited to a 5:30 pm wedding but no dinner will be served. Rude or OK?’ is closed to new replies.

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