(Closed) Invited to a Bridal Shower of someone I never met…What to do?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
856 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I have to admit I invited all the women to my bridal shower that were invited to the wedding bc I was afraid someone would get offended they weren’t invited. I don’t think you need to send a gift though I think she wouldn’t expect it.

Post # 4
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsPom:  I argee, I don’t expect a gift from any of my guests who can’t attend my shower.

Post # 5
Member
8374 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

You are not obligated to attend the shower or to send a gift.  And, you do not need to provide an explanation as to why you are not attending.  Just politely respond to the invitation, indicating that you will not be attending the shower.

Post # 6
Member
2570 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldnt

Post # 7
Member
2357 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Nope, no worries.  My Future Mother-In-Law is inviting lots of people I’ve never met to my showers, I won’t be offended in the least if none of them show!

Post # 8
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Send a card? 

Post # 9
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think you absolutely need to send a gift!! If they went through the trouble to think of you and mail out an invite (unless its an e-vite) than you definitely need to send something. Go on her registry and pick out something small, and send a nice card. Its nice of her to acknowledge you, even if you’ve never met her. Personally, I wouldn’t feel right otherwise…

Post # 10
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

p.s. and dont feel obligated to attend the shower, i avoid it at all costs if i dont know a soul there!! because that would just be awkward. but seriously, send something.

Post # 11
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Not go. Not send a gift. Not send a card.

In all honesty? It sounds gift grabby. You’ve never met, right? Why are you going to meet her at the same time as buying her a gift? Just my opinion!

Post # 12
Member
1875 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t worry about not being able to attend nor would I send a gift.  To me, this seems like a gift grab.

Post # 14
Member
7551 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i agree, it sounds like a gift grab, but maybe send a card?

Post # 15
Member
5229 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I don’t feel that it is a git grab. She probably had every woman on her invitation list invited to a shower and wouldn’t want to leave you out just becuase she hasn’t met you yet. I do not think you need to send a gift, but I think it would be better if you did. I’d send something small, but I would send something.

Post # 16
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

As someone who was wondering about inviting people so they would feel included vs. being ‘gift-grabby’, I’d say DO NOT feel obligated to send anything.  It’s better to assume she just wanted you to feel included. 

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