Invited to bachelorette party but not invited to the wedding?

posted 5 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
1834 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d reply to her friend and say, really? I didn’t see an invite to the wedding in the mail? And just see what she says. 

Or if you just don’t wanna deal say thank you to her friend but you have plans that date. 


nugwife :  

Post # 17
437 posts
Helper bee

Hmm, I don’t see why you couldn’t just tell the friend “hey, i don’t feel comfortable attending this if I’m not invited to the wedding?” In a polite but matter of fact way? It’s not like you’re telling that to the bride directly. Obviously your choice, but in your shoes I wouldn’t have made up a story of being abroad. 

Post # 18
676 posts
Busy bee

Yeah I wouldn’t make up an excuse and skirt around the issue of her possibly excluding you from her wedding but deeming you “good enough” to come to the Bach party to celebrate her. Be direct. Say that you didn’t receive a wedding invitation so you’re not sure why you’d be going to the bachelorette party.

Maybe it was an oversight and something happened to your invitation. In which case it’s all a misunderstanding and you can enjoy a happy event for your friend. Or maybe she’s just super rude that way and you bringing it to her attention will make her admit to her embarrassing faux pas. You-won’t know unless you say something.

The other problem with you making up an untrue excuse is if you say you’re doing x and y and then that day comes and you forget about it and you post something on social media that gives away that you’re not doing what you claimed you were- she could see that if you’re friends with her/following each other. That’s exactly what happened with someone who declined my sister’s Bachelorette party. She was included in everything and invited to the wedding and all and she said she was working that night. Well clearly not because that night she posted she was bored and for someone to come over and do something with her. Don’t be that girl.

Post # 19
110 posts
Blushing bee

I would wait as long as possible before declining. Maybe they just haven’t sent out their invites. My bridesmaids have put out an invitation for my bridal shower already and I haven’t sent out my invites yet. I would hope none of them decline because they think they aren’t invited to the wedding. I just haven’t got to it because it’s too early.

Post # 20
754 posts
Busy bee

If you’ve drifted from this friend, does she even know you’ve moved? Perhaps that possibility hadn’t even occurred to her and so she sent the invite to your old address? I think I may be on the “ask about it politely” team. It seems a bit odd/bold to fib that you’ll be out of the country imo.

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