(Closed) invited to bachelorette party but not wedding?

posted 10 years ago in Parties
Post # 17
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I kind of ran into this with my wedding.  I had a medium sized wedding, but most of the guest list was family.  Some friends wanted to throw me a shower.  We compromised and they paid for my dinner and invited other friends to join us.  The other friends weren’t invited to the wedding (and understood I kept the list small), but came to have dinner with me anyway.  They paid for their own dinners.  We had a great time.  Oh, and no gifts were involved (although I did bring them each a small box of chocolates that I made).  There were only 8 of us (when they sent out the invitation, they told my friends that I was coming to town for dinner and the restaurant had a max of 8 people, so it would be the first 5 others who responded).

Post # 18
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think I would be too happy not being invited to the wedding but I think there are exceptions like co-workers that you’ve already explained to about the wedding and budget.

Post # 19
Member
420 posts
Helper bee

Oh, no. I think that might be a little awkward, if not offensive to some people. Plus if they are drinking, you might hear all about how they feel about that!

Post # 20
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Inviting people to pre-wedding festivities while excluding them from the main event is a no-no.  Inviting non-guests to a bachelorette party is not as bad as inviting them to a shower (because bachelorettes are not gift-centered and it’s usually the bridesmaids who pay for the bride’s expenses), but still.  I wouldn’t do it.

Post # 21
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think it depends…. I have gone to Bachelorette Parties for people who’s weddings I was not invited to. I was in a sorority in college, and you just can’t invite 60 sisters to your wedding. When sisters are have bachelorette parties in town, I go, regardless of whether I am invited to the wedding, and I’m completely OK with that. Also, I have a lot of aquaintences that I’ve met through friends, where I’m not really close enough to them to be invited or expect an invite to the wedding, but I’ve joined them for a night out, since I had friends that were going, and the invite was open. Bachelorette parties are fun, and if it’s someone I’m happy for and I want to celelbrate, I will… Regardless of the ‘politics’ of wedding invitations.

I think as far as a bachelorette party goes, if you’re having it in a bar or restaraunt, you shouldn’t feel restricted to who is invited. It’s a public place anyway. However, if it is a private party, where your renting a hall or having it in someone’s home, then it should probably be kept to wedding guests only.

I’m having a multi-event bachelorette party. A spa day, for just the bridal party and moms, then dinner and drinks for anyone and everyone. We’ll have a large group, including wedding guests and non-wedding guests. We will spend the night in a hotel, and then have a pool party at my Aunt’s pool with drinks and food the next day, where the girls who are closer (wedding guests) will be invited to stay and chat about the night and relax. This is an opportunity for family to join in on the Bachelorette Party eventhough they don’t want to do the wild night out thing. 

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