(Closed) invited to bridal shower … but i don't know the bride!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

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blushbashful:  Just go and eat some free snacks! (Just kidding.)

No obligation whatsoever to attend or send a gift. But if it were me, I might get her something small and weird from the registry just for fun. Like a salt shaker (no pepper shaker) ha ha. 

Post # 17
5187 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Decline. Sounds gift grabby and awkward. You don’t need to send a gift.

Post # 18
60 posts
Worker bee

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blushbashful:  I wouldn’t go.  If your Fiance is super close, I may give a gift if I were you, but it would be a very small one.  Also, did they put the registry info on the bridal shower invite, or the wedding invite? There’s nothing wrong with registry on a bridal shower invite, it’s actually very helpful and expected.

Post # 19
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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blushbashful:  I think some people invite all the females invited to the wedding so no one feels left out and they don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. I would think that is the likely reason you received an invite. Obviously, you aren’t required to go- I would decline and not send a gift. As for the registry info- there is nothing wrong with putting registry information on a bridal shower invitation- but it shouldn’t be on a wedding invitation.

Post # 20
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I would decline and not send a gift.  If you don’t know each other, there’s no need to be worried.  It’s likely that the people throwing her shower chose to invite all of the female wedding guests.

Post # 21
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Decline. You don’t need to send a gift–it’s not expected for those who are not attending, especially if the bride isn’t a close acquaintance. 

If you want to be friendly, write on the decline or in an email or whatever that you’re sorry you can’t make it but you hope she has a wonderful shower, or something like that and call it a day. 


Post # 22
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I bet it’s a situation where whoever planned the shower said “every woman invited to the wedding has to be invited to the shower.”  That’s what my Mother-In-Law thought, too; I had to explain to her that no, I only wanted my closest female friends and family at my shower.  I guess in her family, inviting every woman invited to the wedding is standard.

I’d just decline and don’t think about it.  I wouldn’t bother with a gift; the bride would probably be like “who the heck is this from??”

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