(Closed) invited to bridal shower not wedding…

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 14
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes, it’s rude.  An invitation to a bridal shower bascially comes with the expectation of a gift.

I have a bridal shower coming up, and the host invited women she knew weren’t invited to the wedding!  It’s not possible to invite any more guests (venue, budget), so I was really mad!  She’s insisting that these guests know they’re not invited to the wedding, and they are ok with it, but I am SO not!  I am incredibly uncomfortable with the whole thing!  We’ve had many arguments about it, but there’s nothing I can do 🙁

Post # 15
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yes, extremely rude.

Post # 16
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yes. But if made clear, then sure.

I have a few work friends who are good to party with but we’re simply not close enough to be included in the wedding. Co-workers have asked if they could party it up with me, I said umm OK, but I have to let you know I don’t think you’ll be invited to the wedding. They said they didn’t care they just wanted to party. That said those girls will be included in the stagette. SHOWER on the other hand is more rude because you’re supposed to bring gifts…

Post # 17
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

On the whole, I’d say yes. Though I think an exception can be made for showers thrown by co-workers. My co-workers threw me a small bridal shower, but they weren’t invited to my wedding.

Post # 18
Member
208 posts
Helper bee

I was invited to a bridal shower last year for a friend/acquaintance, but was not invited to the wedding.  Although I like the friend, and I know she was on a low budget for the wedding (and I totally accept that she kept it small), I found it extremely rude to be invited to the shower and not the wedding. 

Post # 20
Member
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

absolutely

Post # 21
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

rude isnt even the word. thats absurd lol. the shower is for wedding gifts. if someone isnt invited to teh wedding why would u invite them to the shower? thats like “buy my presents for the event u arent invited to.” fail.

 

Post # 22
Member
4005 posts
Honey bee

Yes! I think like everyone else said, work showers are the only ones that are excluded from that.

Post # 23
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yes BUT if they know they aren’t invited but they ask to come to my bridal shower I have said its ok. Since my wedding is out of state I have a lot of friends who wanted to come to my shower. I had no real reason to tell them no. So I will have people at the shower who are not invited to the wedding.

Post # 24
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MrsPinkPeony: yea, in that case it is more just “rude” on their part for even asking (not that i would care though)

Post # 24
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MrsPinkPeony: yea, in that case it is more just “rude” on their part for even asking (not that i would care though)

Post # 25
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

In general, I would say it is rude, but I do agree there are sometimes exceptions, like work showers. In our case, my parents are throwing us an at-home reception for all of their friends because they live 1000 miles from us and most of their guests will not be able to make it to the actual wedding. People invited to the AHR will be invited to the shower. I think ours is an unusual situation, though, since we will be having two celebrations.

Post # 26
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yes. 

Post # 27
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Most definitely!

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