(Closed) Invited to dancing after wedding only: rude, or not?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Inviting people only to the dancing at the reception: rude, or not?
    Yes, it is rude and somewhat insulting : (33 votes)
    69 %
    Kind of rude but acceptable in a budgeted situation and with social dancing : (6 votes)
    13 %
    It's OK, I would go, but feel slightly insulted : (5 votes)
    10 %
    It's perfectly fine, I'd happily go and not be bothered by it : (4 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2716 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    In some countries, being invited to only the dance portion is commong, but In the US, it’s very rude.  Either the guest is good enough to attend the whole wedding or not – there is no inbetween.  It also appears very gift-grabby.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    5956 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    So rude that I would literally look at the invitation, drive to a liquor store, buy gin, vermouth, ice, olives, shaker and a straight up glass, then drive to the residence of the person that so graciously invited me to dance at their wedding, make myself a martini, walk up to their door, ring the doorbell, take a sip when the answered it and then throw the remainder of my drink in their face.

    THAT is how rude that is. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I think it’s rude. If they are inviting you to put on a show, you should be contracted and compensated.

    Post # 7
    Member
    5956 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @Creiddylad:  In the incident of a verbal or FB invite, which is even WORSE, you then go up to the person, spit in your hand and then slap their face!

    Post # 8
    Member
    5009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Are either of the couple British? Inviting some guests just to the dancing is totally normal here. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Hmmm I’m gonna go the opposite way and say it’s not a big deal. I mean yah it’s too bad you don’t get to attend the dinner, but they want you there for the party which is quite honestly my favorite part. Not to sound like a jerk, but I could usually care less about a long boring ceremony – I just get through that to get to the celebration afterwards. And I’ve never been blown away by wedding food either. But the evening part is so much fun!

    Post # 12
    Member
    5544 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I think this is kind of a social circles thing. Some people would find this okay and exspected but some would be seriously insulted. I think it depends on what your social circle exspects as normal. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    4047 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @SpecialSundae:  I was going to say this too. I went to an English wedding with my SO, and I was only invited to the dancing, but that seemed totally normal and there were several of us who arrived then after the dinner.

    Then again, I was more of a +1. I didn’t know the bride or groom. My SO was invited to the full ceremony and reception. +1s were invited to dancing afterward.

    ETA: I saw you post that they were not British. A bit rude then, yes. Seems half-assed on their part.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    5423 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think its rude if its the same venue. Like people are clearing plates off the table while you show up. otherwise it’s not awful. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    2874 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    yeah i wouldnt go. if im not important enough for an actual invite i have no interest. esp since its normally a cash bar and no food (even nibbles) and id feel obliged to buy a gift. its easier to go to a bar, buy my drinks there and invite people i actually want to hang out with!

    Post # 16
    Member
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Oh wow totally rude. I’d probably just laugh and not go.

    The topic ‘Invited to dancing after wedding only: rude, or not?’ is closed to new replies.

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