(Closed) Invited to double bridal shower, but only one wedding. Gifts? – Repost

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1624 posts
Bumble bee

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Napopo:  I think you should give a gift to the bride you know, and a congratulatory card to the other girl. 

Post # 3
Member
1334 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I agree with PP. 

And who throws a double bridal shower?? I think that is very rude. 

Post # 4
Member
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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Napopo:  Hm, awkward. I would probably decline to go, but send a gift to my friend and a card to the other bride. I would feel really weird giving one a gift and the other a card in front of all their friends and family, but would resent feeling like I “have to” buy a gift for someone I’m not close to. So I’d just skip it.

Post # 5
Member
4758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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Napopo:  If the brides are opening gifts after the shower, I think it’s fine to just give a gift to the bride you know. If you know the other bride even slightly, a card would be a nice gesture.

Post # 6
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think a small token for the bride you dont know- under $20 would be nice. Then a nicer gift for the bride you know. Double shower… So awkward!

Post # 7
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I agree with the above posters. I would give a nice gift (whether off the registry or personalized) to the bride you know, and a card with maybe a small item (off the registry like measuring cups or spatula or something) for the bride you don’t know.

Post # 8
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I wouldn’t get the other Bride anything but if that’s something you have to do (for your own sake) I would get her something small. I think it’s rude inviting people to a shower when they are not invited to the wedding. If you’re having a joint wedding, i’d atleast make sure you have the same guest (for the most part)

Post # 9
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

You don’t have to get a gift for the bride that you don’t know. If you aren’t invited to the wedding, then you shouldn’t be invited to her shower. It’s in poor taste.

I assume that you were invited to the shower by the bride that you know well, and will be a guest at her wedding. She’s the only one you need to get a gift for.

Just my two cents.

Post # 10
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

If you want to get a card, that’s fine but I don’t think you don’t have to get anything for the bride that you don’t know. If you weren’t invited to her wedding, she shouldn’t have invited you to her shower.

The idea of a joint bridal shower is just bizarre unless both brides are having a joint wedding with an identical guestlist.

Post # 11
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I would give the bride I dont know a card.

Post # 12
Member
47438 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why? Why do people plan social events that will create nothing but awkwardness for their guests?

Post # 13
Member
3679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wouldn’t get the other bride anything. 

Post # 14
Member
4170 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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Napopo:  Awkward turtle, much? Honestly, the other bride probably won’t even be aware if you aren’t bringing her a gift. Bring a gift for the bride you know and that’s it. This may come off wrong, but I almost find bringing a card with nothing but well-wishes inside for a bride you don’t or barely know is almost worse than just not bringing anything. If it were me, I’d get my friend something off of her registry and then maybe bring a bottle of wine/champagne with a card for the other bride, but don’t put it in the gift section. I don’t know, this whole situation would make me feel so uncomfortable.

Post # 15
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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Napopo:  I think you should get the acquaintance a card and send it if you really want to (it is gift grabby & poor taste to invite people to your shower and not the wedding, atleast the ceremony) Personally, I would not attend her shower nor give her a gift…. Get the close friend something off the registry or something you think the couple would enjoy that fits them …

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