(Closed) invited to engagement party but not to wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yes, normally engagement praties do include people that are invited ot the wedding. Maybe you can just call it a party and “happen” to announce their engagement there.

Post # 4
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

It sounds like in this particular case, it would be okay to have a party and invite the neighbors if it’s a small community and everyone kind of knows everyone else. Usually at engagement parties, no gifts are expected, and it’s always usually just a casual celebration. Normally I would say that typically immediate family and the wedding party only are invited, but yeah, in this case, I would think this would be okay.

If it comes up, you can always spread the news word of mouth that the wedding will be very small, mostly likely family and very close friends. In this day in age, I think people are more understanding of this now, especially with the economy.

Post # 5
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think that people understand. I have been invited to a bachlorette party/personal shower before, and was not invited to the wedding. They also had a very small ceremony for family and a couple very best friends, then a small reception dinner at a local restaurant. I did not think anything about it. Like Miss Chapstick said, typically engagement parties are rather casual and do not include gifts, so I say go for it. Congratulations!

Post # 6
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Could you have it during the last weekend, and do the usual Memorial Day backyard barbeque? If they will not be invited to the wedding, I would recommend not labeling it an actual engagement party. It is sort of understood that an invite to the engagement party is a precursor to a wedding invite.

Post # 7
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If it’s going to be a small wedding and everyone knows that, I don’t see anything wrong with it.

Post # 8
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I just wouldn’t label it an “engagement party” and then it’s fine, etiquette-wise.

Post # 9
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would also chime in with not labeling it as an “engagement party”.  I think it would be fine to have a neighborhood get together and then announce your good news at the party. 

Post # 10
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think it also depends a bit on how many of the neighborhood friends will not be invited.  Are you just going to be leaving out a handful of families, or is it literally, the entire neighborhood will not be invited?

Post # 11
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’re inviting people to the engagement party that aren’t invited to the wedding. Largely because our engagement party is for our younger friends who are on the friends to acquittance level but our wedding has been dubbed “an intimate family affair” so only friends who are close enough to be family are invited to our wedding.

Post # 12
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Can I ask why you would not invite these neighbors to the wedding? Are you having a small or destination wedding?

I just think that if these people are close enough to celebrate your son’s engagement that they should be invited to the wedding. We invited certain neighbors to our engagament party and those neighbors are also on the invite list for the wedding.

I agree with the others that if you are not inviting them to the wedding then I wouldn’t call it an engagement party. You don’t want people to bring gifts and feel awkward when you don;t invite them to the wedding. Have a BBQ and at some point take out a cake and champagne and toast the new couple.

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