(Closed) Invited to Ex’s Wedding

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

If it were ME, I would decline. It seems really awkward and maybe I’m reading too much into this, but a little gift grabby? I don’t get inviting people that you aren’t in touch with. I hate getting random invites from someone I was friends with 10 years ago – not to mention, this is an ex and someone your Fiance has had a blowup with that doesn’t sound exactly patched up.

ETA: Just read the last paragraph. Yeah, don’t go. Why go to their wedding if you’re going to sit there comparing you guys to them? Pointless. Be happy in your own life and let them be happy in theirs. Case closed.

Post # 4
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I was going to say, go if you guys want to, decide as a couple, but your last paragraph is a little… silly.

If you’re so happy, sucessful and gorgeous why do you feel the need to rub it in his face?

Obvious Exbf harbours no ill feelings.  You sure seem to however.

Post # 5
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think you should attend at all. Especially since you don’t want to see him happy, watching him start his life with his new bride is only going to make you bitter and unpleasant by the end of the evening. He’s not going to be looking at you, especially on his wedding day and will not notice any other woman in the room other than his bride. 

Post # 6
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Especially with your history, I feel like the only reason to attend would be to incite drama. Move on, you have your man and you shouldn’t bother with an ex. 

Post # 7
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would absolutely decline.  I dont think there’s anything positive that could come from going, you know?

I know your last paragraph was somewhat tongue-in-cheek (I hope) but that was just a touch immature.  The new girl didn’t do anything to you, why are you trying to compete?

Post # 9
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Oneeleven: Yeh, that was sort of the vibe I got too. Like, almost that she wasn’t completely over it. There are people that I never want to see again in my life, but I also realize that I haven’t forgiven them for being butts either… Nor would I even consider attending their weddings for a split second.

Post # 10
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think there’s far better ways to rebuild friendships with people than inviting them to your wedding.  If your ex and his fiance want to try to maintain a relationship with you both, then you should get together for dinner or drinks, not attend their wedding.

If I was invited to an ex’s wedding I would not go.  Then again, I’m not friends with any of my ex’s.  So.

Post # 11
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Yeah….I was going to say yes, you should go and maybe it would be the start to making amends, but your last paragraph made me think “nope, doesn’t deserve to go.”  I don’t know how things ended, or what the whole story is, but your thoughts about him are just mean.  And honestly, I wouldn’t want someone who thought like that about me or my fiance to be at my wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wouldn’t go; it just doesn’t seem necessary. It bugs the crap out of me when people invite others to their wedding they haven’t seen or spoken to in years. And while 2.5 years isn’t that long, neither of you are close to him now. I’m glad you were joking with your last paragraph…that was gross and very shallow.

Post # 13
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Leave it up to your Fiance. He prob won’t want to go either.

Post # 15
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@loveissweet: I wouldn’t go because it seems like the guy must have really hurt you and your FH. One day you may be able to be in the same room with each other, but I don’t think now is the time. 

Post # 16
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If I were you, I wouldn’t go.  It sounds like you guys aren’t close to him anymore and it would just create weird, awkward vibes.  If you and your ex, and your Fiance and the guy, both had falling-outs in the past, then I imagine it won’t hurt his feelings if you respectfully decline–he might even just be inviting you two because he feels obligated to at least extend an invitation, even though he doesn’t want/expect you to actually come.

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