(Closed) Invited to Stag, not the Wedding

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I don’t know a lot about this either, none of our friends do this but one of my husbands coworkers invited him to his stag, and my husband didnt even know what it was until he went, and afterwards he said hed never do that again. They basically charged everyone a “cover” for the night which goes towards paying for the wedding, which we werent even invited to. Personally i would not be interested in funding someones wedding that i am not invited to..

Post # 4
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Stag is the same as bachelor party. Stagette/bachelorette.

Anyways, wedding fundraisers to happen in certain areas (up in Canada it’s in Manitoba UGH the dreaded wedding social). They are rude. They just want you to pay for the wedding that you aren’t invited to. Your Fiance is obviously free to go if he thinks that’s an OK thing to do, but I’d be declining that invite so fast you wouldn’t even see it hit the garbage.

 

eta – it’s 1 thing to invite someone to the party/night out and not to the wedding. Still rude, but whatever. But to ask them to FUND the wedding that they aren’t inviting you to?! Omg. I’m actually upset about it haha. Its so disgusting!

Post # 5
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

princessbride1989:  ok it just occured i could be confusing this.. but i think it was a stag? different than a bachelor party.. correct me if i am wrong?

Post # 6
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

mahalkita:  I definitely think it’s weird. Bachelor parties (that’s what we call them in Northeast US at least) are not wedding fundraisers they are parties set up so the guy (or girl if it’s a bachlorette) can give a last hurra! to their single life.

Also, you shouldn’t invite anyone who isn’t invited to the wedding.

Post # 7
Member
5107 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

mahalkita:  Darling Husband did have a bachelor party where none of the attendees were invited to the wedding. We were planning a very private ceremony, everybody knew this, but it was their idea and they all pitched in to pay for it (party bus and drinks). In general though, if you are having a normal traditional wedding, only wedding invitees should be invited to the bachelor(ette) party. 

I’ve never heard of a fundraiser bachelor/stag party though. That seems rude, though it might be more common in certain areas??

Post # 10
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Here, stags are usually for people NOT invited to the wedding. People in the wedding usually help organize it.  It’s a way for couples to celebrate with people outside their intimate social circle and for their friends to bring their friends. I wouldn’t find it odd. Especially since weddings are becoming a little smaller (75-100) here so there just isn’t room for that friend you had in college at your wedding but is at your stag.

Post # 12
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

mahalkita:  That’s interesting because here all a stag is IS a fundraiser, lol. It’s a polite and unofficial way for hte couple to make money by charging a cover, prizes, food tickets, booze etc.

Post # 13
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I don’t know for sure but it sounds like a ‘stag and doe party’ rather than a stag night. I’m in the US myself and this is a big no-no but I know that our Northern Neighbors consider it perfectly normal.

Post # 14
Member
5863 posts
Bee Keeper

scissorgirl:  I’m from Ontario and ‘wedding fundraisers’ are common here too- called a ‘Stag & Doe’. The wedding party/ families of the bride & groom typically have tickets for sale, usual price is $5/each. Meal provided, cash bar, raffle tickets with prizes, door prizes, games etc. Lots of people buy tickets that aren’t going to the wedding and no-one seems offended by it, maybe because Stag & Doe’s are popular here. 

I’m not having a Stag & Doe because Fiance & I have both been married before and aren’t doing a lot of the standard pre-wedding events, but I’ve attended lots of them and they’re fun. 

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