Post # 1
Hmmm…. My fiance’s second cousin is getting married in July. His parents received STDs and invites, but not with our names on them. So I assumed we weren’t invited, which is fine – we’re not planning on inviting relatives more distant than first cousins to our wedding either.
Well, today I got an invite to the second cousin’s bride’s bridal shower. I thought that was a nice gesture I guess, but I really don’t know her and I’m not invited to her wedding. So is that normal?
To me, on the one hand it seemed like a nice gesture to want to include me, but on the other hand it seemed like a little bit of a ploy for gifts… They are young and don’t live together so probably don’t have a lot of household “stuff” yet, but still, I was mortified when my mom wanted to invite people to my shower that I wasn’t inviting to my wedding, I had to lay down the law and tell her to stick to the guest list! Am I incorrect in my etiquette?
Post # 3
That is NOT normal. Only females invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower, and not all of them even get invited. Sounds like she wants more gifts. I think it’s very rude.
Post # 4
(additionally, no one in my fiance’s family has offered to have a shower for me, and his mom said their relatives probably wouldn’t be able to travel the 3ish hours to where my family is having a shower for me, so maybe I’m just also a little bitter at the perceived lack of interest on their part when it comes to my fiance and I getting married. Then again, he was previously-married (and his family is very religious, divorce is a no-no), we live together, and we’re fairly well-off, so whatever. But it isn’t about the “stuff” to me, it’s more about them wanting to celebrate our upcoming wedding… I digress)
Post # 5
I’m not having a shower, but if I were, I wouldn’t invite people to a shower when they aren’t invited to the wedding. You may be able to bend the rule a bit if you’re doing a Destination Wedding, but even so, you should probably have an at home reception to pull that off.
It seems a bit gift grabby since the point of the shower is gifts, and you’re not invited to the event for which the shower is being held.
Post # 6
I’d decline. That is a total gift grab.
Post # 7
Just rsvp “no,” you don’t know her well & you’re not invited to the wedding.
There’s zero reason for you to actually go.
I agree that it’s rude. :/
Post # 8
@ferdie224: yeah… NO. That’s like saying “you’re welcome to bring me a gift but not to attend my wedding”. Don’t go.