(Closed) Invited to the bridal shower but not the wedding…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What sould I do?
    Say you forgot to give her invitation : (7 votes)
    28 %
    Don't even mention it : (18 votes)
    72 %
    Any other ideas? : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3686 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m a little confused — why was she at the bridal shower? Did your mom invite all the coworkers and because it was a surprise you didn’t get to weigh in on the guest list?

    I wouldn’t worry too much about it. It was obviously a surprise, and you don’t know her very well. I wouldn’t be expecting an invite from someone I barely knew!

    Post # 4
    Member
    12248 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I wouldn’t worry about it. Someone else in the office probably invited her by accident, thinking her invite had just gotten misplaced! Or that it was word-of-mouth, or that just that other chick was the only one not invited.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3686 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I wouldn’t worry about it. Weddings are supposed to be including those closest to you — you barely know her. It was an honest mistake.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2082 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @kris325:  I would give her an invitation anyway. You could tell her you didn’t realize you forgot her invitation until you saw her at the shower.

    Post # 8
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I think it would look obvious if you now go and say to her you forgot to give her an invite. She knows just as much as you how well you two know each other so she won’t be suprised by not receiving an invite.

    Post # 9
    Member
    11752 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think because it was a surprise shower and you obviously had no control over the guest list (unlike a non-surprise shower you may have some control) that you should not worry about it.  It’s still very poor form – but it will not reflect poorly on you since you nor your family were the ones hosting the shower.

    Is your wedding really this coming weekend? You don’t need to be stressing and worrying about it at this point. 

    If you do decide to give her an invite, I don’t think you should lie and say you forgot.  Just tell her the truth or say nothing and just invite her.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1060 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    While it is generally considered bad form I don’t think it is a huge deal, esp because she is so new I don’t think she would be expecting it. Also, like pp have mentioned, it was a surprise shower so you had no way of knowing who would be there.

    Just curious… did she bring a gift or just show up with the other coworkers?

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    1299 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @kris325:  It sounds kinda rude… but if she didnt bring a gift I wouldnt fret over this one.  I personally would never show up anywhere empty handed and even if I didnt know you would have gotten you a 25 dollar gift card!  But it seems like maybe she felt obligated to come.  Maybe with her being new she felt like she had to come, or maybe she even thought “are they just trying to get more presents… i’m not doing that lol!”   Who knows… either way though I dont think I would worry about extending and invitation to her.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7219 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @kris325:  ^^THIS. She probably felt like she should come since she’s new and wants to fit in, but clearly she knows you’re not that close. She wasn’t gonna spend $$ on a shower gift for someone she hardly knows… you shouldn’t feel like you have to spend $$ on a wedding dinner for her either! I really doubt there will be hard feelings. If anything, if you give her an invite she might feel obligated to THE WEDDING too and then be stuck with new coworkers all day! Let her off the hook!

    Post # 14
    Member
    3686 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Yeah, the whole situation is awkward. But to show up, eat, and leave — I definitely wouldn’t be extending an invite to the wedding.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1060 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @kris325:  I think the fact that she didn’t bring a gift ( not that it matters either way if a guest brings a gift or not, but generally women bring gifts to showers ) is her way of acknowleging that she knows she isn’t invited to the wedding. She probably just came with the other girls because they asked her to, and being new felt a bit obligated.

    I don’t think there is anything to worry about.

    @MexiPino:  agreed!

    The topic ‘Invited to the bridal shower but not the wedding…’ is closed to new replies.

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